She Is A He And He Is Well A He
by BlackStarDragon
Summary: Ms Maxwell always wanted a girl, but was blessed with her son, Duo. Forced to wear dresses, high heels, and make up, Duo tires to face high school...as a girl? Trying to keep his secret hidden, and not fall for the pervy next door neighbor, Duo is in fo
1. I AM A BOY

"We're here!" my mom said cheerfully.

"I'm speechless with enthusiasm." I said flatly, staring out the window.

The car stopped behind a moving van in front of a beautiful, white, Victorian style house.  I stepped out, smoothed my dress out of habit, and straightened my long braid.  My mom was busy playing the role of mover Nazi, so I took the opportunity to look around.

I noticed someone watching me from across the street.  No, not watching me, but checking me out.  Yes I know my ass is fine and all, but it's rude to check out your neighbors while they're moving in, it's much more interesting to check them out when they're washing their car.  There's less left to the imagination.

I felt my face get hot, if the guy hadn't been so hot with that messy brown hair and tight, black spandex, I would have shouted to fuck off, but since he was hot, I took the less insulting approach and flicked him off.

The hot stalker left and I turned to my mother. 

"Mom…..we have perverts for neighbors." I whined.

"Oh stop it Duo, I saw you blushing.  In two months you'll be dating him." 

I glared, something I'm not to good at.  People say I look similar to an aggravated chipmunk when I glare, so they always end up laughing instead of cowering in fear.

"You're probably the only mother in the history of mothers who teaches her son to be gay.  Are you aware of this?" I asked her, picking up the lightest thing I could find.

My mom glares back, and of course she gets the desired affect of me cowering in fear.  Damn that ain't fair!

She walked up to me and shook me hard.

"Be quiet!  This is the last time I'm moving because you let your secret out." she hissed.

_"Eww…she spit on me again."_

I looked away and shook her off.

"Oh right, it's not like I want them to know I'm really a guy." I snapped and stormed into the house.

You want to know the biggest problem with those damn Victorian houses?  They're too big, so every time a annoyed teenager storms off to be comforted and spoiled later, they get lost…kind of like me.

"Great, just where am I?  Why does mom insist on picking out big, houses?  And why do they always have ridiculous amounts of white in them?  It's like every where I go it's white! White, white, white!" 

Yeah, you might want to get used to this, I talk to myself a lot.  Don't know why, but I just do, I also ramble quite often, like right now.  So just bear with me when I ramble, because I do it quite often.  Did I mention I was also very repetitive?

Finally I settled in a bedroom somewhere on the millionth floor, actually it was the second, but that's not the point.  Just like I mentioned earlier, my mother came in, comforted me then spoiled me with rocky road ice cream.  Life is good!

~Whenever the stupid alarm clock rang~

I reached out and slammed my fist on my alarm clock, it wasn't gonna last very long anyways.  Grunting, I rolled over to enjoy the comfort of my boxers a while longer and sleep.  Yup, you heard me right folks, enjoy the comfort of my boxers.  My mother has the nerve to even make me wear panties, she's insane I tell you!  A man can't even enjoy his own type of underwear around her! 

I finally got out of bed and into some cloths when my mom threatened to cut my hair.  Alright, I hate the dresses, I loath the shoes, and despise the make up, but I love my hair and value it over my own life.  You touch it and you will die.  *chipmunk glare*

I hopped down the front steps pulling my shoe on with a piece of toast sticking out of my mouth.  The bus driver honked the horn for the hundredth time that morning and bore an odd resemblance to Elvis.

I took a seat on the bus and had this odd Chinese boy, apparently named Wu Fei, give me glances all the way to school.  What is it with people and staring at me?  I hate being a girl!  Oh wait…I'm not one, heh, never mind.

~At School~

"Class, we have a new student with us.  I'd like you all to make her feel welcome." my teacher told my new class.  She waved for me to come in.

I sucked up my breath, made sure I wasn't horny, because that would give me away right off the bat, and walked in.

I received a classic 'Hello, 'insert name here, not that we'll remember it.'' 

I waved back, as  girly as possible, that's when I spotted him.

_"Oh gross, it's the hot peeping-tom from across the street.  Shit, did I just say he was hot!?  Jesus it's only the first day and already I'm falling for someone.  Can't I be straight for just one day?  Wait, no, that won't work, because everyone thinks I'm a girl, and if I like girls, then they'll think I'm gay when I'm technically not.  So does that mean I'm sort of straight everyday?  Wait, now I'm confused, what was the question?"_

I stood up there for the longest time, trying to re-determine my sexuality, then the stupid, hot, stalker just had to ruin my train of thought by waving his fingers and smirking at me.  I smiled sweetly, and gave my usual response of flicking him off.  Oh the bright ideas I have.

"Miss Maxwell!" the teacher snapped.

_"Shit!  Busted! Damn you hot, stalker boy!"_ I curse in my head.

"Err…yes Mrs. Brenkit?" I ask timidly, one perk of being a girl, the more innocent you appear, the more slack you receive.  

"I'm afraid we do not accept such rude behavior here, even with new students.  Detention."  

A pink detention slip was then taped to my forehead.  

I sulked over to my seat, muttering to myself.

Homeroom through third period was pretty uneventful.  The only think worth mentioning was my stalker, who is apparently named Heero, got a pink slip to the forehead for punching the guy behind him.  A moody one my stalker is.

~A Random Hallway~

I was rushing down the hallway, nose buried in my schedule.  I had no idea where my next class was, I swear they moved the stairs!  Anyways, here I am rushing along the hallway, and BOOM, I crash into someone.  Guess I set myself up for that one, it's weird how all these cartoon gags seem to apply themselves to me.

Books and papers went everywhere.

"Oh gosh!  I'm so sorry miss1  Are you alright?" a high, male voice asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied, rubbing me nose which I hit at some point in the crashing process and gathered up my books.

Whoever they were, they were very polite and offered me a hand.  I willingly took it.  The boy was thin, had short blonde hair and round blue-green eyes.

He smiled at me.

"Hello, my name is Quatre Winner.  I'm so sorry for running into you like that." he apologized.

"No sweat.  I'm Duo Maxwell." I said, shaking his hand.

"Maxwell…wait, you're the new girl aren't you?"

I nodded.

"Yep, that's me.  The completely lost, new girl."

Quatre handed me back my schedule, grinning me.

"Well Miss Maxwell, we have the next class together, mind if I show you the way?"

I gave a deep bow.

"I am completely in you debt, master." I said, attempting sarcasm.

Quatre laughed nervously and lead the way.

"Oh, it's nothing.  And you don't have to call me master.  I already have someone who does that in the-"  He stopped and stared at the floor uncomfortably.

I couldn't believe what he was about to say.  I shot Quatre an odd look then cracked up.

"You have a love slave!?  That's hilarious!  Who is it?  Can I meet them?  Do there wear naughty outfits for u?"  I continued with my questions causing my new friend to look like a tomato.

"You think very weird thoughts for a girl." he mumbled.

I nodded and continued with my questions, wondering if I could actually turn him into a tomato, great now I'm making myself hungry.

Little did I know that hot, stalker boy was nearby.  He didn't make his presence known until…

*YANK*

"OWW!! WO THE HELL DID THAT!?"  I screamed and turned around, ready to smack the person who touched my wonderful hair.

I came face to face with Heero.

He smirked at me again.

 Ii gave him my best rodent glare.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU?  IT'S ONLY MY FIRST DAY AND I'VE DEVELOPED AT CREEPY STALKER!  AT LEAST SAY SOMETHING!" I shouted at him.

He continued smirking and walked away.

"See you in detention baka." he shouts back.

*Pause*

"HEY WAIT A MINUTE!  USING FOREIGN WORDS ISN'T FAIR!  I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE INSULTING ME OR NOT!" I yelled.

Quatre laid a hand on my shoulder, sighing.

"And a new victim is chosen…"

To Be Continued…

~*Author's Note's:*~

Hey ppl!  Im bak!  And this time with a 1x2 fic, my favorite couple!  Heh, it was originally written from third person and called Girls Ain't What you think…but I didn't like it so much, so I redid it.  Heh, what can I say, im a picky writer.  Til next chappie! Ja!

~BlackStar


	2. PMS

            I asked Quatre what he meant by 'next victim'.  Apparently, every so often, when Heero finds a girl he likes, he picks on her.  That's so elementary school, minus the booger eating part.  When I heard this, I was so tempted to lift up my dress, pull off my lacy pink panties and show him just what type of girl I was.  But valuing my reputation and dignity (if you can even call it that.)  I let the stalker go without making a further idiot of myself.

            You know, my teachers always said I was dumb, and this just proves it.  I had completely forgotten about detention with hot, stalker boy and when I remembered, well…heh, let's just say I got two more days added to my week long sentence.

I walked down the hallway to the torture chamber, erm, 'disciplinary room' as my principal call it.  Whatever, detention is detention.  

I opened the door and low and behold, there sat stalker boy.

I walked by taking a seat by the window.

_"Sit and stare.  Out the window.  Yup, staring out the window, yes sir.  Stare.  Keep staring.  Staring…"_

*Whack*

"HOLY SH-"

"Crash*

'Stalker boy, Heero Yuy was arrested this afternoon after murdering a young girl, who later turned out to be a boy forced to dress up as a girl by his psychotic mother.  Wow this is a fucked up story.  Back to you Bob.'

That was this evening's new report that ran through my head.  Well, okay, it was a bit exaggerated.  Heero hadn't killed me; he just hit my desk, scared the shit out of me and made me fall out of it.  He found it hilarious too.  He wouldn't stop laughing.

I glared up at him.

"Yeah, haha.  Hilarious." I snapped and stood my desk back up.

"Oh, she has a feisty side."

"She also has a rock hard fist.  Now leave me the fuck alone." I told him, retaking my seat.

"I've never met a girl who cussed so much.  Are you PMSing?"

I felt my face turn cherry.

"Why the hell are you asking me that!?" I screamed, slamming my fists oh the desk.  That poor desk, it never did a thing.

"It's a simple question.  Either you are or you aren't."

"I start at the end of the month if you must know."

He smirked at me, I hate that.

I could just picture my boy half strangling my girl half with a rope screaming, "YOU IDIOT!  What did you tell him that for!?  You don't start your period, period!  You're a guy moron!"  Then my girl half expires pitifully on the floor.

"Is that so?  Well, I'll mark that on my calendar Miss Maxwell."

"You enjoy pissing me off don't you Yuy?  Look, Quatre already told me about the whole victim thing.  Why don't you just go ahead and say it.  Say that you like me."

Stalker boy took a step back and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Fine.  I like you, I think you're cute." he said calmly.

I blinked.

"Huh?"

_"This isn't how it's supposed to go!  Haven't you read the rules you stupid stalker boy!?  You're supposed to say no and deny your feelings.  Then, I go off believing you and through some weird, twisted, comical events we fall in love and ride off into the sunset!  Why in God's name did you tell the truth!?"_

Heero took his seat away from me and stared, almost angrily, into space.

I muttered to myself continuously until Heero chucked a pencil at me with alarming force and I shut up.

He didn't talk to me for the rest of detention and you'd think I'd be happy about it, but I wasn't.  Oh know, of course not.  I'm the opposite of everything I should be.  A girl when I'm a boy and annoyed when I should be jumping for joy.  Why am I so retarded!  Why?

~After Detention~

I was walking home, now muttering to myself about not being stalked.  Being oblivious to my surroundings like normal, I didn't notice the girl following me, screaming for me to stop, until she threw her purse at me and it smacked me in the back of the head.  

Being a girl myself, or um, dressing like one, I carried around a heavy purse too.  But I'll tell ya, you never remember how heavy they are until you get hit with one.  So my memory was defiantly refreshed.

"Ow!  What is it with you people and hitting new residents in the head?  Some type of tradition or something?  What's your problem anyway?" I asked her.

She hit me again.

"OW!"

"You're my problem."

I glared at her.  That's when I recognized her.  She had bright, blue eyes and long, sandy, blonde hair that hung down with the exception of two braids that went behind her head.  I'm pretty sure her name was Relena.

"It's you!  Relena right?  What did I do?"

"That's Miss Relena to you!  And you are flirting with MY boyfriend!"

I thought for a minute.

"Wha?  Oh wait, Quatre?  Are you Quatre's slave?"

That earned me another hit from the evil purse of Maybeline bricks.

"Hell no!  Quatre's gay!  His 'slave' is Trowa Barton!  I'm talking about Heero Yuy!  He's mine!  Keep your un-manicured hands off!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Nice insult Relena." 

She jerked me forward.

"Don't underestimate me Maxwell." She hissed.

_"What is it with these people and surnames here!?"_

I shrugged her off and went home.

I slammed the door to my house.  I noticed Heero hadn't come home the same way as me.

"I'm home." I called out.

My mom came in from the kitchen.

"Welcome home sweetie!  How was your day?"

"Great." I told her, heavy on the sarcasm.  "I've developed a stalker boy who has his own personal stalker girl who wants to kill me for being stalked by her stalkee."

My mom blinked and didn't say anything.

I looked at my hand.

"Mom?  Do I need a manicure?"

TBC

~*Author's Notes:*~

All done!  So what if I missed Algebra, English, and World History?  No biggie, heh, who needs college?  Lol, okay so no more writing during school for me.  Hope you enjoyed it. Til next time!  Ja ne!

-BlackStar


	3. Tampax and Relationships

After a nice relaxing weekend and a French manicure, that shity little thing called reality had to come back and in the form of my alarm clock and wake me up for school Monday morning.

I reached from under the covers, feeling for my alarm clock.

_"Once I find you you're going straight to the wall ya damn piece of ringing metal bent on torturing teens with you crappy metal bells, waking us up too early in the morning to go to a place we don't want to go to in the first place."_

Hey give me some credit for this, that's a whole morning's worth of thought process crammed into one insult.  So what if I wasted it on an inanimate object?

"Duo!  Wake up sweetie!  It's time for school!"  my mom chitters happily from down the hall.  

Is chitters even a word?  Ah well, doesn't matter.  She chittered, not chattered, chittered, deal with it.

I groaned and rolled over.

"No.  We don't have school today, you're mixing up your days again Mom."  I call back at her.

"Then what's today?"

"Christmas."

"Then where are the presents?"

"I ate them."

"All of them?"

"Will you stop interrogating me?"

"Does that require an answer?"

I sighed and pulled myself out of bed with much effort and went downstairs.

My mom was in the kitchen all perky, making my perky little lunch in our perky little kitchen while I sat there, sulking.

"You're up!  Merry Christmas dear!" my mom says in a perky, mocking way.  

I glare at her, chipmunkly, I make up words as I go.  Leave me alone.  Stupid grammars freaks.

"You have no imagination.  Couldn't we have just worked with me, just a tiny bit?" I ask her.

She kisses my cheek.

"No sorry.  It's against the Mother's Handbook.  See page 93 under Sleep Torture, paragraph 3b."

"Hardy-har-har.  Good one mom." I snap as I head back up the stairs to my room.

~At School~

After the sarcasm fest with my mother, and a noisy bus ride, I was, unfortunately, back at school.  As usual, I walked down the halls, not paying any attention; I subconsciously set myself up for these things.  

"Hey Miss Maxwell I have something for you!"

Hearing my name being called, I turn around out of habit.  I look to find Heero standing right in front of me.

"Oh it's you.  Never mind then, I'm sure whatever you have for me isn't something I'll enjoy."  I coolly tell him as I turn back around.

"Oh but you might need this." Heero replies.

I spin around ready to scream at him for the second time this week, instead something in a pink plastic wrapper is shoved in my face.

"T-tampax?" I stutter.

"Sorry if it isn't your brand.  Are you more of a pearl girl?" Heero asks me, smirking.

_"Any man who knows the catch phrases of tampon commercials in SERIOUSLY disturbed.  Oh wait a second, I'm one."_

"Wh-what is this for!?" I shriek at him, my voice jumping up two octaves.

Heero smirked some more.

"It's the end of the month isn't it?"

I clenched my teeth as the blood rushed to my face and I turned a deep shade of red.

Heero tilted his head to the side, still smirking.

"I thought the blood was supposed to go in the other direction."

That didn't help.

I snapped, my hand launched out and I punched Heero right in the mouth.

"JERK!" I screamed, and stormed off.

If you think I got away with, here is where you're wrong.  The teachers here have globe positioning systems built into them or something.  Or it could be that I was hiding in a popular make-out spot, the janitor's closet.  Everyone came here, there were the initials to prove it.  Relena & Jesse, Relena & Jonathan, Quatre & Trowa, Relena & Susie, Relena & Brandon.  Okay so just Relena whoever her current pet is and Quatre and Trowa.

The janitor was the one to find me.  The teachers dragged me to the principal's office where I was given a lecture and three more weeks of attention.  Whoo…..on a roll here.

~After Detention~

I was released from my prison, only to fine more misfortune outside.  Heero was outside in the parking lot with a busted lip.

I tried to walk by unnoticed, but I think Heero has a GPS built into him too, so of course there was no escape from him either.

"Duo!" he shouted at me.

_"Pretend you don't notice him, pretend you don't notice him."_

"Hey Tampax Queen, I'm talking to you!"

My mind has a habit of suddenly switching moods, I think it's bipolar.

_"Smash his face in."_

I spun around, ready for round two.

"What?  One punch not good enough for you!?" I hissed.

Heero glared at me, and I mean death glare, not shut-up-you're-annoying-me glare, but one-more-word-out-of-you-and-someone-will-find-you're-mangled-body-in-a-river glare.

"You owe me an apology."

I looked at his split lip, there was dried blood.

"Nice lip stick, what shade is it?  Passion Punch, Crimson Splash?"

"Alright, you made your point, I was out off line."

I clapped my hands.

"You can learn!"

This remark earned me another glare.

"Fine, for that last remark I'm sorry.  Now, tell me Mr. Yuy, what is it gonna take for you to STOP BOTHERING ME??" I asked, stretching out the last three words.

Heero leaned in close and kissed me. 

My mind stopped, I couldn't move.  I hoped I wasn't drooling.

Heero broke away first.

"You'll have to go out with me."

I shoved him away.

"Maybe you misunderstand the meaning of leave me alone.  It doesn't mean spending more time together.  It means you leaving, as in going away, no further contact with each other." 

"But you didn't ask what it would take for me to leave you alone.  You asked what it would take for me to stop bothering you." 

"No I….aw shit."

Heero started to laugh quietly.

I glared.

"Shut up.  You're the one who got your lip busted by a girl."

_"At least what you think is a girl."  
_Heero's laughter immediately stopped.

I sighed in defeat.

"Fine if it gets you to stop handing me Tampax in the hallway, fine.  I'll go out with you."

Heero took a step closer, I pushed him away.

"But I have some rules.  No calling me sweetie, or darling, or Pooh bear or any foreign words I can't understand.  No touching my ass, chest, or any other part of me that shouldn't be touched in public.  No calling me.  No dirty notes in my locker.  No whispering in my ear.  No getting horny on me.  And last of all no sex before marriage got it?"

_"Even though I feel like tackling you and licking you all over right now, in this very parking lot.  ACK!  What am I thinking?  I hate him!  Eww gross!  Heero cooties!  Hot Heero cooties.  No!  Bad!  Bad Duo, bad!"_

Heero quirked his eyebrow.

"No sex before marriage?"

I shrugged.

"My uncle is a preacher."

"Oh…"

I nodded.

"Yeah, so.  You agree or no?"

He kissed my cheek.

"Whatever you say babe."

My face turned red.

"I said no names!  That's it!  We're breaking up!"

Heero shook his head.

"Babe wasn't on the list."

"It is now.  And if you don't mind, _honey_.  I need to get home."

Heero put his arm around my waist, leading me to a car.

"Let me give you a ride."

I looked at his car, debating.

_"Common sense half votes no.  Horny half votes yes.  Horny half gets two votes!  Testosterone wins!"_

I get into the car, ignoring my common sense half bitch and complain before my other half beats it unconscious with a stick.

We drove down the road, listening to the music from the radio.

"You live across the street from me right?" Heero asks.

"Oh, um, yeah."

Heero nodded.

"Nice house isn't it?"

I nod.

"Very nice.  Wait, how would you know?"

"We were friends with the old family."

"Oh."

"Hn."

_"First you wouldn't stop the wisecracks, now you're speaking in grunt.  Nice change."_

There was a lapsed silence.  Then I thought of something.

"Hey Heero.  Did you ever date a girl named Relena?"

The car screeched to a halt.

"Who told you that?" he asked in a creepy, quiet voice.

"From her…right after she beat my with her purse of Maybeline bricks." I answered.

Heero turned to stare at me.

"You met her already?"

"Um yeah, she threatened me.  Said to leave her boyfriend, you, alone."

"Fuck.  That bitch.  Why can't she get over it already.  God."

"Um, get over what?" I asked.

Heero shook his head. 

"Nothing.  Don't worry about her, I'll deal with her."

We started moving again and the silence stayed all the way to my house.

I got out and waved bye to Heero, who didn't even look up from the road.

_"Oh yeah, you're staring out as great boy friend material.  Jeez, and I thought I was moody.  You sure it's not your period Heero?"_

I walked into the house where I was immediately questioned by my overly excited mother who wanted me to spill every detail.  Over course I was happy to oblige.

To be continued…..

~*Author's Notes:*~

Hello!  Ha!  I accomplished my goal!  Update one story before break is over!  Now if only I could get my school work done that easily.  Heehee ^  ^; I is a lazy author, that I is.  Well anywho, hope ya enjoyed it! Til next chapter! Ja ne!

-BlackStar


	4. The Mexican Stand Off of Relena and Heer...

_"So, I, Duo Maxwell, am going out with Heero Yuy, the world's biggest and sexiest jerk.  He thinks I'm a girl and likes me as a girl, meaning he's straight.  But I'm not a girl, I'm a boy.  So that means Heero is in a gay relationship, he just doesn't know it yet.  Well it's good to know we got all of that cleared up…"_

I went over today's events in my head while trying to unwind by doing my math homework.  Oh yeah, I'm definitely winding down, my intelligence maybe.

The phone rang, scaring the crap out of me in the process.

"Duo!  It's for you dear!" my mom calls up to me.

"'Kay!" I respond and pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"You didn't head my warning Maxwell." The caller told me coldly.

At the moment I'm not in Miss Polite and Innocent mode.

"Oh hey!  It's the psychopath with the Maybeline brick purse!  How are you Relena?"

"They're Clinique!  Not Maybeline you stupid, boyfriend stealing, bitch!" Relena screeches at me.

"Clinique, Maybeline, Olay, whatever.  What do you want; I'm in the middle of my math homework?"

"YOU'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!"

While holding the phone a foot away from me, I amused my ADHD self with a shiny gum wrapper on my desk.

"Relena, it's only an affair if you're married.  If you're dating it's called two timing." I told her, reflecting the lamp light off my beloved gum wrapper.

"That's not the point Maxwell!  The point is you're dating Heero and he's mine!"

_"Possessive aren't we?"_

I sighed heavily.  Heero was more trouble than we was worth.  Hell, he wasn't worth anything in my opinion, except for his sexy eyes and hair, and ass and…shut up!  Don't give me that look!  You're the audience; you have no power over the story!  Stop trying to screw up my phase of denial! 

"Relena, hate to break it to ya, but, y-o-u  a-r-e  n-o-t,  h-i-s  g-i-r-l-f-r-i-e-n-d.  He told me so himself, get over it."

There was a weird, high-pitched squeaking noise from Relena's end.  I think she's dying.

"Relena?  Hello?"

A small squeak and she hung up.

I hung up too; who cares if she's dead, she was after my boyfriend.  Great, now see what you've done!?  You took me out of my denial!  Now you've ruined the whole story!  Damn story ruiners!

My mom came into my room with my laundry.

"Who was it dear?"

"Erm…mom?"

"Yes Duo?"

"I think I killed her."

~Next Morning~

My mom and I were sitting around discussing where we would hide Relena's body and what we would tell the cops.  Okay, okay.  So we were just eating breakfast, have a little imagination will ya?

Anyways, suddenly the doorbell rings.  My mom goes to answer it, and being the nosy brat I am, I followed her.

To my complete shock and surprise, it was Heero. 

"Heero?" I ask.

"Oh, so this is the famous perverted neighbor Duo has been telling me about." My mom says cheerfully.

And there went that stupid blood rushing to my face again.

"Mom!" I whined.

Heero laughed.  And I mean a normal laugh, not the taunting evil laugh he gives me, but normal, happy laughter.  I wanted to ask, "Who are you and what have you done with my moody, evil boyfriend?" but that would've made me look stupid.

"Hello Mrs. Maxwell." Heero said politely, giving me a look that said I'd pay for my pervert remark later.

"Just Miss, thank you Heero."

Heero quirked an eyebrow, but didn't ask anything more about it.  Definitely a good thing, the father/married issue is an automatic death wish if brought up in this household.

"I'm here for Duo.  I'm taking her to school today."

"You are?" I ask.

Feeling my mother's glare burning holes into the back of my neck, I quickly correct my mistake.

"Oh right, you are.  Silly me, I forgot."

I hurried to get my stuff.  I stumbled around looking under everything and after finding it in the most obvious place (my pantry) I hurried back to the front door.  

I grabbed Heero's arm, trying to play the role of girlfriend.

"Bye Mom, see you later!"

I rush out the door, practically dragging Heero along.

"In a hurry to get out of the house Duo?" Heero asks as I nearly dove into his car.  Good thing I didn't actually do that, I was exaggerating, because the windows were shut and I don't think breaking your boyfriend's car on your first day as a couple gets you bonus points.

_"You don't know the half of it."_

I just gave him a cutesy smile and buckled my seatbelt.  Using all of my will power to prevent my mouth, which I swear to God, is a separate being from the rest of my body, from venting about my mother being a psychopathic-gender-bending-can't-except-the-fact-her-off-spring-sports-a-dick-instead-of-a-pussy-freak-of-nature.  

Don't look at me like that!  What would you feel like if your parents made you keep tampons in your purse when you don't even have a period?  Huh?  Well?  I thought as much.

"So, darling…." Heero started.

I glared at him.

"It you're shooting for the shortest relationship ever record, you're doing great."

Heero leaned over and kissed me, again.  Then I felt something moving around in my mouth.

_"HOLY SHIT HE PUT A FUCKING SNAKE IN MY MOUTH! GROSS!!!"_

I shoved Heero off of me, rolled the window down and started spitting.

"What the hell is wrong with you Duo!?" Heero yelled at me.

"What kind of *spit* boyfriend *spit* puts a *spit* snake *spit* in their *spit* girlfriend's *spit* mouth!? *spit*" I asked, my head still out the window.

I brought my head back in the window, giving my best PMSing rodent glare.

Heero stared at me like I was some kind of mental patient.

Then his face twisted around, and he covered his mouth with his hands.

_"Is he gonna barf or something?  I mean, okay the thought was gross, but throwing up over it is a bit much.  Be a man Heero!"_

Then he started making weird noises.

The man was laughing…hysterically…..?

I continue my 'glaring'.

"What's so funny?"

Heero tried (unsuccessfully) to get his laughter under control.

"A-a snake? You, you thought I put a snake in your mouth?"

He laughed harder.

"Duo, that, that was my tongue.  I was French kissing you."

You know that expression, 'their eyes were as wide as dinner plates'?  Yeah, well try silver platters in my case.

"THAT'S GROSS!!" I screamed at him.

He stopped his laughing and put one of those horny smirks on his face and leaned in close to me.

"Come on, you know you liked it."

His hand started working up my thigh, to where he expected something very important to be, but in its place was something very different.

I shoved his hand away.

"I don't like the French."

Heero snickered and went back to his side of the car.

"You'll learn to beautiful."

I blushed and stared out the window.

"I don't like nicknames, but that one can stay." I mumbled.

Alright fine, I'm breaking my own rules.  But here's this hot, sexy guy who's calling me beautiful, what else was I to do?

We reached school and got out of Heero's car.  Unfortunately, I forgot to include, keep your paws of me in my rules yesterday, and it was too late to add it now.  Everyone was staring at us, and pointing and whispering.  I felt so stupid, falling into the label of Heero's next victim.  God I'm so stupid.  Oh well, at least I got a hot guy by my side.  Okay so he'll probably try to get me laid as soon as possible, and I'll have to continue to stop him despite what my lower half says, but still.  THE HOT MAN IS MINE! BOOYAH BABY!!  Damn I need to update my lingo.

So there we are, walkin' along, Heero doin' that whole macho 'ha I've got the hot chick' thing.  Me doing the 'he's with me, touch him and get your eyes clawed out' thing.

Then walks up Relena.  

I felt Heero's grip tighten around my waist.

He glared at her and she glared right back.

_"Wow, it's like a Mexican stand off…"_

"Relena." Heero growled.

"Not your girlfriend huh?" she said stiffly.

Heero bent his head to touch mine.  I guess that was his answer.

"How could you?  She's such a whore!  You…you….I HATE YOU HEERO YUY!  YOU HEAR ME!?  I HATE YOU!" Relena screamed and stormed off.

Heero gave a half smile.

"About time."

I blinked.

"You can fill me in at anytime Heero."

Heero shook his head.

"Head on to class beautiful, I've got things to take care of." 

And he left without another word.

To be continued…

~*Author's Notes:*~

All done.  Heh, I had wirters block with this one. *hugs moony* Thanks for the help moony!!!! ^   ^ She helped me get through it and finish.  Well, what on earth is going on between Heero and Relena, I have yet to discover that myself.  I make it up as I go, and it seems to work no? Lol. Til nex time.  Ja ne!

-BlackStar


	5. Twister

_"What is he doing?  Yeah, okay, just walk off and leave me here…in a complete state of confusion.  I don't mind…really.  Gah!  Men…"_

I sulked off to my locker making up scenarios of what Heero and Relena were hiding.  My favorite so far is the one where in a tragic twist of fate, the beautiful prince Heero was forced to date the horrible cosmetics dragon Relena.  Then one day, Prince Heero couldn't take it anymore.  So he dumped that dragon right on her big, fat, bum.  And she ran home crying, dragging her tail behind her.

…What?

I do not have too much imagination, I do not!  You're all insane. INSANE I TELL YOU!

*BANG*

"Ow! Crap!"

I fell on my ass after running into someone's open locker. 

See what you made me do!!

"Oh my!  Duo!?  Jesus, are you okay?"

Quatre rushed over to me and started picking up my spilled books.

I rubbed my head.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Watch where you're going next time." He scolded, handing me my books.

"I was talking to my imaginary audience."

"Your what?"

_"Dumb ass…"_

I bit my lip and shook my head.

"Nothing."

Quatre was giving me an odd look when a Cyclops came up and frenched him.

I blinked; I didn't know they still existed.

The Cyclops removed his tongue only to go and bite Quatre's ear, which caused him to giggle more like a girl than me, and I am the girl…cross dresser….gender fulfilled?  You get my point!

"Trowa stop!" Quatre protested, only causing Cyclops Trowa to bite more.

I rolled my eyes.

_"Geez, get a room.  Better yet, get a janitor's closet."_

After a little more of the sap fest, I guess I came back into existence.

"Oh right!  Duo!" Quatre said, pushing Trowa away slightly and was glowing pink.

I waved and grinned.

"Nice to see you don't suffocate easily."

That only increased the pinkness.

"Erm Duo this is uh…Trowa, my boyfriend."

I shook the Cyclops hand, only to realize, he wasn't a Cyclops at all, he just had sharp bangs that cover one half of his face.

"Nice to meet yah!  Ooohh!!  So, _this is your love slave Quatre."_

The boy is now the essence of pink.

"U…yeah…uh…yes."

Trowa gave the smaller boy an odd look.

"I thought we agreed you were my slave." He said quietly.

Quatre laughed nervously.

Trowa gave a blank look, actually, he always had that look, I just didn't notice.

"I'll show you who the slave is." Trowa muttered.

Quatre turned to me.

"He says nice to meet you too."

Trowa nodded.

"Right…" I said, scooting away carefully.

"So Duo, what was this morning all about?"

I shrugged.

"You tell me and we'll both know.  That boy is more secretive than the F.B.I"

"What boy?" a voice from behind.

Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped me from behind.

_"Stupid timing…"_

I looked up at my stupid, secretive boyfriend.

"No one Heero."

"Hn." Was his response.

"We'll see you later.  Quatre, Trowa." Heero said shortly and dragged me away.

"What the hell??" I screeched as I was literally dragged away.

Heero shoved me playfully against a wall.

"Just wanted some time alone with you beautiful."

_"Again with the knee weakening nicknames!  Curse you Yuy!  Curse you and your hot body!  Dammit, there I go again…"_

I guess my internal disagreements are noticeable whether I speak them aloud or not.  Because the next thing I knew, Heero was laughing quietly then kissing my lightly on the neck before coming up to my mouth.

I wrapped my arms around him, trying to pull him closer, but he refused to follow.

_"Control freak…"_

Suddenly he stopped.

"I need to ask you something Duo."

"Go ahead."

He hesitated and had a sudden interest in the floor.

"You….."

"I….."

Heero sighed and leaned his head against the wall.

"You okay Hee-chan?" I asked, giving him a new nickname.

In response to this nickname, he glared, then smiled a bit, then sighed and went back to being sad.  Wow…that's……1…2…4 emotions in about eight seconds.

"Come on…tell me, I hate being in the dark." I whined, tugging on his sleeve.

"You already are…" Heero muttered.

I puffed out my cheeks in a pouty face.

"What was that??"

"Hn."

I glared.

"If I hear that annoying sound come out of you one more time I'm going to hit you.  Now please, Heero, tell me what is wrong?  I want to help."

_"I actually care about you, even though you are gonna kick my ass from here to __Taiwan__ if you find out what I really am."_

"Relena…" Heero sighed.

"What about that cosmetic carrying bitch?  Just say the world and I'll run her over with an eight-teen wheeler, I swear."

Heero shook his head.

"Don't do that.  You'll ruin a nice eight-teen wheeler."

I grinned.

"Wow!  An emotional response!  I'm flattered."

The bell rang.

I grabbed Heero's arm.

"Come on Hee-chan, we're gonna be late!"

It was my turn to drag him away.

~After School in Detention…Again ^  ^~

Heero and I sat in detention together.  He still hadn't told me what was wrong, but he was back in his old perverted mood, so I was having a fairly miserable time.

I sat in Heero's lap trying to prevent him from molesting me further.

"Well you're in a better mood than earlier." I said, pushing his hand away from my thigh for about the eighth time.

Heero sighed, and held me closer.

"I was."

_"Oops…"_

"Heero, why don't you just go ahead and say it?"

"It's complicated."

"What in this fucked up world isn't?"

"Duo I don't want to talk about it."

"Yes you do, or you wouldn't have brought it up."

"You brought it up."

"You told me about it this morning, so you brought it up first."

"That doesn't count."

"Does too."

"No it doesn't baka."

"ILLEGAL USE OF FOREIGN WORDS!"

Heero just smirked at me and kissed me.

"You're so cute when your angry."

I frowned.

"I'm supposed to look scary and pissed off, not cute."

"Do I lose points if I tell you that you failed miserably?"

"We're on a point system now?"

I gave my best puppy face.  I kick ass at those!

"Heero……"

Heero sighed. 

"You're so annoying."

"Look who's talking tampax man."

He glared.

"Shutting up."

"If you promise to be quiet, I'll tell you."

I made a motion like I was zipping my lips.

Heero nodded.

"Duo, I wanted to know…..would it bother you that…..if I told you……"

He slammed his fist on the desk.  Quick!  File a law suit for desk abuse!

"Duo, I like guys alright.  I mean, I did, then my family, and Relena.  The point is…I'm trying to go back to girls.  I mean, I really like you so…..I wanted to say that."

_"Of all the things he chose to like, it had to be guys.  I mean, that's a good thing.  But, I can't be a girl then show everyone I'm really a guy…can I?  Ah hell who cares.  He likes me!!!!!"_

I hugged Heero tightly.

"I know exactly how you feel…"

TBC

~*Author's Notes:*~

HA!  Bet you didn't expect that!  To be honest, neither did I.  But there's a lot more to the story.  And a lot more insulting Relena! Mwahaha!  FYI, I was incredibly when I wrote the beginning of this.  Til next time.  Ja ne!

-BlackStar


	6. There Goes the Cat

"You do?  ….Wait, you do?"

Yay, my turn to confuse someone else instead of them confusing me! Woot! 10 points for Duo the Confuser!

I grinned at Heero.

"Yup, I sure do."

Heero shot me a look of confusion and suspicion mixed together.

"How?  Don't tell me you're a lesbian."

I giggled and shook my head.

"Not quite."

Blank stare from Heero.

"Care to explain."

I shook my head and bit his ear lightly.

"You have your secrets and I have mine." I whispered into his ear, making him shiver.

_"Yes!  Control!  Ha!  Now who's the dominating one!  Hell yeah I do have control over this man!"_

Just then the bell rang and our detention ended.  Perfect timing!

I got up from Heero's lap.

"See ya tomorrow babe!" I called out as I left the room.

Walking along, all proud of myself for showing show dominance in this fucked up relationship of mine, then I stop dead in my tracks.

_"Shit.  Shit, shit, shit!!"_ I chanted in my head.

Sighing and giving into defeat I walked backwards to the door.

"Heero?" I called, popping my head in the door wearing a sheepish grin.

"Yes?" he answered, a smug look on his face.

He already knew.  Damn him and his all knowingness!!!!

"Can you give me a ride home?"

~*In the Car from Hell*~

"Now what was this secret you were keeping from me?" Heero's silky voice asked me, kissing my neck, damn this wasn't fair!  Felt nice, but still, not fair!!! 

I shook my head, refusing to tell him.

"You tell me what's going on with you between Relena and you, then maybe I'll spill." I whispered, trying to not get horny, big success that was, and turning as red as a tomato.

He slipped his tongue in my mouth, and this time I knew it wasn't a reptile.

See, some how we'd made this very strange deal.

I tell him my secret and he'll take me home.  Since that's not really an option for me, I refuse.  So he says that's fine, I just have to get in the car and let him make out with me without protest and then he'll take me home.

So here we are, in the backseat, the windows are practically opaque with steam.  Heero has his hands half way up my shirt, his shirt is already gone and HE'S STILL TRYING TO GET IT OUT OF ME!!!

Nice way to keep the mood going huh?

I had my arms around his neck, enjoying my mouth being covered in someone else's spit, which actually isn't that bad, let me tell you, then someone gets the nerve to pound on the car window.

Heero moved down my neck to my collarbone, ignoring the knocking.

"Heero, someone's knocking at the window."

Heero gives a prehuman evolutionary grunt and continues molesting me.

I struggled underneath him.

"Heero, someone is knocking on the damn door.  AND GET YOUR HAND AWAY FROM THERE!" I screeched as his hand went to the wrong place and well…….there goes that cat, out of his bag.

 For a moment Heero stared at me, not moving or saying anything.

All I could do was look down in shame and feel my face get hotter, but not for a good reason this time.

Silently, my as of this moment ex, pulled his shirt back on and climbed to the front of the car to open the door.

I sat their quietly, my whole world falling down around my ears while I tried to catch that stupid, son of a bitch cat and stuff it back into its bag and staple it shut.

I hear someone fall over and some type of moan, and I'm suddenly drawn away from my figurative cat and looking into the front seat.

There it was.  Plain as day.  Relena had tackled Heero in the front seat and was all over him.  Was he resisting?  Hell no, he actually looked like he was enjoying this.  I felt my self go numb.  Relena looks at me while she's devouring Heero's tongue and smirks at me.  

I felt like crying, but something inside of me said that would only make the bitch happier of her victory.  I opened the back door, and walked away.  

I wasn't in my right mind I guess.  It's like my feet magically took over and started moving me around at will.  I was walking down Wilshire Court, close to my house, when I tripped and stumbled into the road.  Next comes the screeching of tires, the honking of a horn and suddenly there was no noise at all.  In fact, there was nothing, no pain, no light, just emptiness.  I didn't like it, not at all, I tried screaming, nothing came out, I tried moving, still nothing. Dammit where's the on switch on this body of mine!?

Suddenly, my scream broke out and my body bolted up right. Talk about delayed reactions.

~*Somewhere….a very clean somewhere*~

I was lying in a bed, the room was pure white, and I swear that color is out to get me.  Something in this very white and extremely, to the point of aggravatingly clean room was this constant beeping.  Oh look a heart monitor!!  Oh wait….that's not good.

Then it dawned on me that I was in the hospital, all the pieces fit perfectly, and I remembered what happened.  

On my right were tons of flowers from people at school, and at the back of the room, dead asleep on a chair was my mother.  To my left, the infernal beeping heart monitor that surpassed my alarm clock by a mile, but unfortunately a bit too big to hurl across the room.  I looked out the window of my room, it was dark out, night time.

_"How long have I been out?"_ I wondered. 

I hoped this wasn't like one of those freaky Twilight Zone episodes where a guy goes into a coma and wakes up like, a million years later.

My mother stirred in her oh so comfy hospital chair.

"Duo?" she mumbled through sleep-filled eyes.

"Mom?" I whispered.

Well that was a nice wake up call, next thing I know I'm having my guts hugged out and smothered with sloppy mom kisses, which are worse than a dogs.

"Duo!  Duo!  My baby!  Duo!" she sputters out between bear hugs and kisses.

"Mooooomm!" I whine, standard teenage procedure.

My mom gets one of those parental mood swings, and starts shaking me, standard parental procedure.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD LIKE THAT!?"

Alright, up until this point, I was in a pretty good mood, minus the getting run over by a car part.

Immediately tears welled up in my eyes, but I fought them away.

"I'm sorry mom.  I-I wasn't paying attention.  My mind was elsewhere."

My mom stepped back and lifted my face to look at hers.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"He….he found out.  Heero did.  He, he found out my secret."

A hand slaps me across the face.

"HE WHAT?" she screams at me.

"It wasn't my fault, well it was, but….mom I don't think he'll tell anyone.  He's a good guy." I told her, trying to sound brave when I felt reduced to a pile of goo.

"Yeah, a good guy until they find out their girlfriend isn't a girl!" she hissed.

That shoved me over the edge, I was pissed.

"Well whose fault is that!?  My whole fucking 'secret' was your idea in the first place!" I yelled at her.

Now she gets pissed.

"My fault!?  My fault!?  Dammit Duo!  If you didn't like this then why didn't you just tell me?" my mom screams back.

I often what color the sky is in my mothers frickin' universe.

"I DID MOM!  YOU WERE JUST SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH HAVING A DAUGHTER THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN CARE WHAT I WANTED!  I NEVER WANTED THIS!  I NEVER WANTED TO BE SOMETHING I WASN'T!!  ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ME!  JUST ME!" I shouted at her so loud that my throat was burning when I was finished.

My mom stared at me in shock, realizing after sixteen years how selfish she had been.  Damn, that shut her up quick.

A long, slow silence proceeded the screaming, then my mother left the room, almost to tears.

Having nothing better to do, I looked over the mini garden that had accumulated in my room.

_"Flowers from Quatre, flowers from Trowa, whoa that's weird.  Let's see, flowers from dad!?  Jesus, he must've thought I died then.  Flowers from Hilde, flowers from Tiffany, flowers form Heero, flowers from Lee Ann.  WAIT!  HOLD UP!  Flowers from Heero!?"_

My eyes back tracked and there they were.  A big bunch of red and white roses.  There was a card too.

I opened the envelope and unfolded the note:

Dear Duo,

            Dear God!  If I'd known that it would hurt that much.  I mean you cared about me?  I'm sorry……she just…I didn't mean it!  Really, I……

            Look, I've been coming to the hospital everyday, so I'll see you when you wake up.  We need to talk.

                                                                            -Heero

_"He's as good in writing as he is in speaking."_ I told myself, and couldn't help but smile.

I put the note on my bedside table.

"Ahem."

I looked to my door.

"Heero?"

TBC…

~*Author's Notes:*~

And the torture continues! Hehe, sorry, had to insert another cliff hanger.  And Duo will be fine!  I couldn't kill him if I wanted to, I swear he's immortal!! 

*Duo grins*

Anywho, I was a good authoress today! I've updated two stories today and I'm about to start my third! Yay me!! Ja!

-BlackStar  


	7. Morphine Causes Hallucinations

Heero came and sat next to me and took a hold of my hand.

Awww!  How romantic!

"Duo…I'm so sorry."

I squeezed his hand.

"You should be……but I'll forgive you."

The look on his face told me there was more that he wanted to say.

"Is there something else?"

He nodded slowly.

"Well, what is it?  Tell me?"

_"And it better be something sweet and sappy or else."_

"Close your eyes." He ordered.

I 'glared' and cleared my throat.

He glared back, but I stood my ground.  I'm not a total wimp!

"Please?" Heero muttered darkly.

I grinned and shut my eyes.

_"Maxwell 1, Yuy…oh shut up!  This is supposed to be a confident remark!"_

Something cool wrapped around my neck and I gave a small yelp.

I heard Heero give a small laugh.

"Okay, you can look now."

I opened my eyes and looked down.

"Holy-…Heero!"

I swear, if I hadn't had Heero's mouth pressed to mine only seconds later, I would've cried.

He had given me a beautiful silver and diamond cross necklace.  I mean, damn!  The boy's got taste!

The kiss broke and now I cried. 

Heero pressed his forehead to mine.

"Do you like it?"

"Holy shit!  Heero, I love it!"

He kissed me again.

My this is turning out to be a good day, minus the getting hit by a car part.

"Hey Heero?"

"Yeah?"

"How long have I been out?"

"Fifteen years."

……

"I'm sorry I just hallucinated.  Say that again."

Heero laughs at me.

It's the morphine!  Not me!

"I said it's been eight days.  You've been here for eight days."

I blinked.

"Damn, I got hit that bad?"

Heero nods sadly.

I noticed we hadn't talked about certain events that lead up to me getting hit by the car.

"So…when are we gonna talk about what happened?" I asked, trying my hardest to look him in the eye.

Heero's eyes immediately looked downward.

"Heero…"

"I'm sorry."

"I know you're sorry, but we need to talk about what happened, what you…discovered."

I started fumbling with my necklace.

Why won't he talk about this?  He said he was sorry…

"Why didn't you tell me that you were a-a…" he trailed off.

"A guy?"

_"Come on, it's not that hard to say."_

Another nod.  Jesus, maybe I should only ask yes or no questions from now on.

"Well…getting the living crap beat out of me wasn't very high on my 'to-do-list'.  That and my mother wouldn't let me.  This is all her idea.  Believe me Heero; I would've been much happier dating you as I am, then as a fake."

Stare…

"Your mother's idea?  What the Hell?  Why?"

I sighed.

_"Might as well get this over with.  Cue the sad music and let's start the flashback."_

*Imaginary Quatre picks up his imaginary violin and plays a sad tune.*

"My mother has always wanted a daughter.  And for a while she had one.  I had an older sister, Belle, who was two years older.  But, when she was born, the doctors diagnosed her with some fatal disease and she died a little before her third birthday.  I guess the loss was a bit much on my mother and since I was still really young, she raised me as a girl."

*Quatre is yanked off stage and flashback ends*

"Weird…"Heero murmurs. 

I nod.

"My family has a history of insanity.  My great Uncle Louie tried to overthrow the government by flooding all the toilets in the F.B.I." I stated calmly.

Stare take two!

"Duo…no more sharing you family history." 

I smile.

"Alright."

We chatted for hours; Heero told me what I had missed around school.  Apparently Quatre and Trowa got caught getting it on in the janitor's closet and the principal had to order an entire new shipment of cleaning supplies in since all the old ones were now unholy, I mean, unsanitary.  But, Heero didn't mention anything of Relena, the one subject I really wanted to hear.

_"Well, I guess it's up to me…"_

"Hee-chan…"

*Glare*

"Yes Duo?"

"What about you and er…..Relena?  Are…are you two um…together again or was it a one time thing?" I muttered quietly.

There wasn't an answer.

I looked up to meet Heero's eyes but he had turned to view my flowers.

"Heero, this is really important to me."

Heero sighed.

"Duo…I'd kill to be with you.  But…remember how I told you I used, I mean I do, like guys, and then Relena and my family found out and got pissed?"

"I remember some of those key words being thrown together in some very strange, incomprehensible sentence."

"Yeah, well…I have to go out with Relena again, she's blackmailing me.  If I don't she'll tell the whole school…"

"Oh…I get it…"I said quietly.

Heero spun around with amazing speed.

"Duo…I would if I could but…."

"But your reputation is more valuable.  Yeah, yeah, I get it." I snapped.

"Duo…" he pleaded softly.

Suddenly an idea came to me.  Hey, hey!  There's a first time for everything, stop laughing at me already!

"Heero, what if…"

"What if what?"

Stop laughing!!!

"What if you still went out with me, I mean, everyone but you still thinks I'm a girl, and so does Relena.  So, she couldn't blackmail you because your dating me and I'm a girl…in their eyes at least."

Heero grinned.

"That might just work…."

WILL YOU STOP THAT DAMN LAUGHING!!  IT'S A GOOD IDEA DAMMIT!!

"Really?  You think so?" I said, happy my intelligence was finally shining through.  

*Chipmonk glare* 

Do you really find this that amusing?  Is it so hard to believe I actually have a brain?  

……..

THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!

"Yeah, with a some more planning, it could defiantly work." 

He kissed my forehead again.

"Ahem…"

_"Shit…we've been picked up on parental radar…"_

"Erm….hi mother…" I said meekly.

TBC

~*Author's Notes:*~

Yeah yeah, another cliff hanger, so shoot me.  No not really!! *ducks* Well anyways, the moral of the chapter is…'Even psychotic mothers have their reasons'.

*sound of crickets chirping*

Hey!  That's good quality humor right there!  Bah…everyone's a critic.  Anywho…time for a shamless plug!  If you look under my bio, there's a story under there called 'Only Dreamers Have Wings'.  It's not like my other stuff, and it's not an AU, yes I know I made up a few characters and put them in there, but I swear the story is about the G-boys not them, it's just told from another light.  Please read it and give it a chance! *begs* I'm really proud of this story and I'm afraid the summary my send the wrong idea…

Well there's my low moment in life, but I really do mean it.  

-BlackStar 


	8. Slave Driver in Black Leather

My mother reentered my room for the second that day, wearing a look that basically told Heero 'let-go-of-my-precious-daughter/son-or-I'll-rip-your-eyes-out-and sell-your spleen-to-the-highest-bidder-on-e-bay'. 

It's amazing what one person can convey to another just through one tiny look.  Heero quickly let go of me and placed his hands protectively over his stomach.

"Is this _him_ Duo?" she hissed, continuing her spleen selling look at Heero.

"Er, yeah.  This is Heero mom.  And-and, he's promised not to tell anyone, haven't you Heero?"

Heero nodded politely to my mother.

"Duo's right.  I'd never tell anyone his secret, I love him." Heero stated calmly.

Well…………that's new.

"You what!?" my mom screeches in a mixture of rage and confusion.

"You do?" I ask in a mixture of hope and confusion.

"Yes.  I do." Heero answered us.

Something inside my mother's brain must've popped, because her left eye had this odd twitching thing going on.  Me on the other hand, I don't know about my brain, but my heart had swelled three times its original size (hey I think I've heard that somewhere before).

"Heero…"I drift off, I had forgotten the rest of my sentence.

"Miss Maxwell?" Heero asks.

"twitch……twitch…" responds my mom's eye.

"Okay……um…Miss Maxwell I know you probably don't want me dating your son…er…daughter." Heero said.

"twitch…nod…twitch…"

"But, I really don't want to be away from him.  I won't tell anyone, I swear.  I'll do whatever it takes…just please let me stay with him."

I don't know what the hell was going through that boys mind, but that was about the dumbest thing to say to my eye twitching mother.  He might as well have sold his soul!  My mom's gonna make my boyfriend into her own personal slave!!! Hmmm….maybe

mom will make him where tight, black, leather around the house.  Yum, Heero slave….drool

ten hours later

Oh right! Back to the story…

My mom gave Heero an evil grin.

"Anything, you say?" she asked him.

I swear Heero's eyes widened, but it could've been the morphine again.

"Yes.  Anything."

"Fine.  Then you can help me with Duo, while she recovers, and that way I can keep an eye on you.  I hope you can do laundry."

"Yeah, cause last time she tried, all my cloths came out purple with blue dots." I whispered into Heero's ear.

"Duo!  That just between us!" my mother snapped, smacking me on the head.

I heard Heero give a small, meant to be unheard laugh, and couldn't help but smile and snuggle up to him.

Spleen selling look take two!  Action!

My mom has some great will power, it must've taken everything to stop that animal instinct of protecting one's young and not ripping their mates to shreds.

"Mom!  Cut that out! You'll scare him away!"

"I really see no downside Duo."

"Mother! If you don't stop, I'll impale myself on a butter knife!  I'll cut my hair!  I'll stop buying shoes!!" I start ranting and raving.

"Okay okay!!  Sweetie, I'll stop, just not the shoes!  Don't be so irrational dear, please!" my mother begs.

I can only imagine how amusing it must be watching the two of us argue like little kids.  I bet Heero finds us hilarious, like a favorite TV show of something.  Hey!  I wanna watch too!

Anyways, through out the day my mom continued what she called, negotiating with the hormone driven savage, a.k.a. Heero.  

The deal turned out to be this, everyday Heero would drive me too and from school, once we got back to my house Heero would stay and help my mom with the house work, cleaning, cooking, whatever.  Then he'd help me with my homework, and if he laid one finger on me I was supposed to scream and yell and call for the police. 

We also had to discuss my little 'secret'.  Of course Heero had to swear on his erm…...uh…well, to put it bluntly he had to swear not to tell a soul or my mother would 'fix' him.  You get the idea.  So, not wanting to be castrated at anytime in the near future, he agreed and everything was all happy again.  Yay!

At School on Monday

As planned, that Monday, Heero and I put our plan into action and that morning before school Heero broke up with Relena, and Relena decided to break Heero's nose.  That was messy. 

Not soon after breaking Heero's face with her evil cosmetics purse from Hell, Relena went off and told everybody the Heero was gay, which is true, but nobody else has to actually know that.  Well that rumor lasted for about two class periods until the school nurse caught me and Heero making out on the bed in the back, then Relena's little rumor was shot to the ground and Heero was straight again.  

Locker After School

"Ready to go home Duo?" Heero asks me.

"Yep.  Ready to be my mother's slave?"

Heero gave me one of those perverted smirks which always foretells impending doom on my party, that or sex.

"I'd rather be someone else's slave." He purrs in my ear, causing me to shiver.  Damn sexy man voice.

"Heero cut it out.  You're so horny." I said, trying to keep the weakness from my voice and the blush from my cheeks.

"Yeah, but you know you don't mind." He continues whispering, pushing me up against the wall, making it very hard not to feel certain parts of him.

"Heero!!" I whine pitifully.

Apparently Duo torture is on Heero's favorites list, since he continued pressing against me and biting my neck.

"Help!  Police!" I call out into the abandoned hallway, causing the both of us to burst out laughing.

"I can't believe you actually did that." Heero tells me, still laughing.

"Notice how none came?  That definitely ensures my safety."

I grabbed his arm and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"I'm scared Hee-chan, will you escort me home?  I'm too weak to make it there by myself." I pleaded in an overly girly voice, even for me.

Heero shook his head at me.

"You're so damn weird Beautiful." He tells me.

"Yeah, but that's why you love me, right?"

"Actually, I think I liked it more when you were bitchy and mad at me all the time."

"We can fix that, just let me go get my purse and I'll throw some stuff at you."

I made a move to go back to my locker, but here grabbed my arm before I could get there and dragged me back.

"No, really Duo, that's…that's fine.  I'll live with the current insane, non-violent Duo." He said, dragging me into his arms.

I laughed.

"Your still embarrassed that you got punched by a girl aren't you?"

Heero's grip tightened slightly and he bent close to me ear.

"No.  Because I didn't get hit by a girl, just a really girly boy."

"Oh and that's such an improvement."

"It is."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Do I have to prove my point in the janitor's closet?"

"Possibly, but that would risk my secret and your manhood.  Remember?"

Heero made a face.

"We should hurry to your house."

"I thought as much."

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Well, they finally strangled it out of me.  The 8th chapter.  It didn't really go anywhere, but it's setting up the story for future events.  Be patient my pretties.  cackles evilly and strokes a pet flying monkey

-BlackStar


	9. The Fall Downward

Ya know, looking back on it, it probably wasn't one of my brightest ideas to even mention my secret within a 200 mile radius of my school. But, since my house is only 2.5 miles away from this hell hole that won't really work. Though in my defense, it was 4:30 in the afternoon!!! No one was even supposed to be there except for Hee-chan and me! Who in there right mind hangs around school at 4:30 in the afternoon!?

Wait, wait.

I just realized you have no earthly idea what I'm going on about. Of course the way I babble on, I'm surprised you've put up with me for this long and still follow what's going on. I mean, holy fuck! Look at this title!! I can't even remember that! Seriously, I'm the main character and even _I_ don't remember it. Oh right, getting on with it. Sorry, got ahead of myself.

sighs

Cue flashback and press rewind!

odd squeaky chipmunk noises are heard as tape rewinds

New Jersey State Hospital 16 years earlier

Not that far!!

more squeaky noises are heard as the tape fast forwards

Yesterday Morning Before School

Hee-chan and I pulled up in the school's parking lot like normal, except today everyone was looking at me funny. I mean funnier than usual.

"Um, Heero, you didn't post that video of us makin' out in the principal's office on the school's website did you?" I asked.

"No, not yet. Did you hear the sound of a tape rewinding earlier?"

"No, you're hearing things again. I told you staying up late on that damn laptop of yours is gonna kill you one of these, hey! Whadaya mean not yet!?"

Heero laughs at me and starts walking away.

_"Why does he always do that?"_

I scrunch up my face in annoyance and charge after him.

Even when we reached Heero's locker the weirder than normal looks continued. And I couldn't for the life of my figure out why. I'd checked to see if toilet paper was on my foot, nothing. Nothing on my ass, Heero checked seven times. No lipstick on my teeth. No underwear showing. I was quite confident that my outfit didn't clash. So why the hell are they staring at me?

It was really starting to grate on my nerves, to the point where I was knocking my head repeatedly against Heero's locker. So what if he was trying to open it, I don't care. About the same time I felt this impending sense of doom at the back of my neck coming from Heero's direction, Quatre hurries up to me and pulls me aside.

"Thank you Quatre, now I can finally open my damn locker." I hear Heero mutter from behind.

"Duo! There you are! Have you heard! Why didn't you tell me!? The whole school's got to know by now! I can't believe she did this to you! That…that...meanie!" Quatre goes on and eventually starts spouting off in Arabic, completely loosing me.

I grab him by the shoulders and shake him slightly.

"Hold it hold it! Who did what, when, how, what about the school? What are you talking about?"

Quatre, I think, answers me in Arabic.

"Huh? Man, speak English! I don't speak that…..whatever you're speaking!"

"He's talking about Relena and the flyers she posted around school." Trowa answers me, appearing out of no where, I swear.

"ACK!" I jump backwards into Heero, who slams his locker shut on accident.

"Duo…" He uses in that voices that sounds like all fuzzy cute animals in the area might've just met their end.

Of course I'm too scared and interested to hear him.

"Relena? What fliers? I haven't seen any."

"Here, look." Quatre says, handing me a flyer.

I take a look at the neon pink piece of paper, trying not to become blinded by the horrible choice of color.

"Duo Maxwell, supposed girl attending this high school. But is it really true? To see the truth revealed, watch this morning's announcements." I repeat, reading the flyer.

Immediately my stomach does flips and I feel like my breakfast might show up on the waxed floor.

"So, is it…true?" Quatre asks me in a small voice.

I quickly look up, glaring at him. And I mean Heero glare, not my wimpy pissed off chipmunk glare. I want to tell him yes and no at the same time.

"What do you think?" I snap, leaving the answer unclear. I slam Heero's locker in pure anger and storm off to find that evil little, color clashing, jealous, slutty bitch and rip her to pieces. God that felt good to imagine.

I wander around the hallways; the bell for homeroom has already rung. That means the morning announcements will come on any minute now. So I head for the AV room. Up the stairs, down the hallway and make a left. I'm almost there, and then I hear a voice shout out my name.

"Miss Maxwell!"

It's the vice principal Mrs. McKoy. Not enough time to stop now, I keep going and see my target; the door marked AV Room, Authorized Personnel only. I wrench the handle and swing it open.

There's Relena, about to put a tape in the VCR.

"Relena!"

She looks over her shoulder and just smiles viciously at me before turning back to the VCR.

"Relena I swear to God put that tape in and I'll kill you." I threaten her, and I'm pretty sure the Mrs. McKoy heard me too, but I'll deal with her later.

Relena pushes the tape in and hits the play button.

"Whoops. My finger slipped." She says in a mock innocent voice.

I freeze up; all I can do is turn my attention to the video screen. It's a tape from the school security cameras, from yesterday afternoon after detention let out. Shit.

I slam my eyes shut, hoping that in some way, doing that will make the tape stop playing. Then I hear our voices coming from the monitor. It's all over.

_"No, really Duo, that's…that's fine. I'll live with the current insane, non-violent Duo." _

_"Your still embarrassed that you got punched by a girl aren't you?"_

_"No. Because I didn't get hit by a girl, just a really girly boy."_

_"Oh and that's such an improvement."_

The tape stops. I can already imagine the rumors and jokes that are flying around the school. Just like that last time, when my old school found out.

A hand grips my shoulder.

"Maxwell, Peacecraft! Both of you to my office, you have a lot of explaining to do." Mrs. McKoy's demands.

I open my eyes and continue giving Relena a hate filled look. Have you ever had that feeling where it's like all the horrible and sad things in your life feel like they've happened because of just one person? That's how I felt towards Relena.

I was so angry, beyond angry. I tightened my fists. I wasn't sure what to do at first. But my life is already ruined, Heero's life is ruined. So who cares what happens from here? It can't get any worse.

To Be Continued…

Author's Notes:

Mwahahaha! I am sick and suffering, therefore you too must suffer! Yes, it's another evil cliffhanger. And despite the rumors, I am not dead, mutilated, in the hospital, or any other life threatening state. I'm just crazy and lazy. BUT, I haven't abandoned you guys, just took a long vacation, or rather my muses did and I couldn't think of anything for my next chapters. But my muses have been returned and tied up in the closet so they will be helping me for a long long time to come. Also, I'm finishing this story before updating anything else. I've created a rather large to-do list, so I'm trying to make it smaller. Love to all!

-BlackStar


	10. Beatings, Names, and Sex

I was livid.

She approached me with that arrogant smirk on her face and I lost it. As soon as she got close enough I jumped on her. We fell to the ground and I pinned her before nailing a strong punch to her left eye.

I remember she screamed, not with fear, but with anger, and scratched my face with her nails.

We wrestled around on the floor of the AV room, literally trying to rip each other apart. Ms. McKoy, who was still in the room, at one point tried to pull us apart; only to receive a sharp, painful kick to the shin. She then hobbled off to get help.

Help apparently wasn't that far off, not long after Ms. McKoy limped away, a pair of strong hands locked my arms from behind and dragged me off of Relena.

I was quite pissed at being taken away from my prey, but upon viewing my work I did feel a slight twinge of satisfaction. Relena's nose was broken and bleeding, she sported a number of bruises and scratches and a wicked black eye from my first punch.

Though, much to my dismay, Relena did not hit like a girl, more like a full grown, 6 foot 8, football player on steroids; but on the up side she didn't fight like a 6 foot 8, football player on steroids. My shins were dotted with purple and blue splotches from those damn high heels of hers and I had scratch marks all on my face and arms, a busted lip and even a bite mark on my neck, I don't know how I'm gonna explain that one to Heero.

A large crowd had formed in the AV room. Relena and I still struggled against our captors, still anxious to beat the shit out of one another. When our struggle failed, we opted for verbal insults.

"You bitch! You prissy, spoiled, God-damned whore!" I screamed.

"Better that than a cross-dressing faggot!" she hissed and some of the students cheered.

I spit at her, flecks of blood floated in it.

"So I'm a fag, so what? I still took Heero from you. You had the boy of your dreams taken from you by a fucking pansy!"

Screams and cheers echoed through out the room and into the hallway. Students jumped around, pushing and shoving. Whoever was holding Relena had let go of her.

As if from a classic Hollywood cat fight, Relena grabbed a hold of my hair and pulled on it hard; snapping my neck to the side. The person holding me wouldn't let go. The whole AV room had turned into a riot. Ms. McKoy and the other teachers couldn't get anywhere through the crowd of students.

"Hey fag." I heard a voice growl, only to be followed by a strong punch to the stomach. I jerked forward, coughing, I then glanced upwards.

A blonde, pretty-boy with cruel amber eyes stood over me. Relena stood next to him, her arms draped around him possessively.

"Duo, I'd like you to meet the _real_ boy of my dreams, Damon." Relena gushed in an overly sweet voice.

I glared up at him from the floor.

"Damon, this freak has been bothering me. Can you take care of him?" Relena whined.

Damon grinned at me while cracking his knuckles.

"Why sure sweetie." He answers, raising his fist.

I readied myself for a very nasty blow to the face, but it never came.

I peeked an eye open to see Heero standing over me and blocking Damon's punch.

"Lay off of him. He's mine." Heero growled.

Before Damon could respond, Heero slugged him and knocked him flat on his back. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the crowd.

"Come on!"

And I was whisked away from the pit of high school Hell.

With all of the commotion in the AV room, no teachers were able to stop us from running out of the building and straight for the parking lot. About halfway through the parking lot we realized no one was going to follow us, so we might as well just walk.

We walked along in a strange silence, both of us looking in the other direction. It just about drove me crazy, because being the motor-mouth that I am I do not get along with the whole silence thing.

"Heero…."

"…"

"Heero, I……I'm sorry."

I stopped. I could feel myself beginning to cry and I already felt bad enough about wrecking Heero's life, so I didn't want him to have to comfort me on top of it all. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and gave a pathetic sniff.

_"Dammit, I feel like a kicked puppy; probably look like one too."_

"Duo, don't do that."

I sniffed again, now I sound like a kicked puppy dog with a cold, even better.

"I'm not trying too. Really I'm not."

I think I heard a small, short laugh, one of those 'aw he's so cute when he feels like shit' laughs, but I don't know.

Tears were just pouring down my face now and I'd stopped wiping them away, my fingers were getting all wrinkly. I stood with my back to Heero, trying to tell my stupid emotions to shut the Hell up and go away.

Heero wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Don't cry Duo. Everything will be fine." He whispered into my ear.

"How can you see that? The whole school knows now! It won't be long before our parents find out, and then I'll have to move again! Just like the last time and the time before that and the time before that!" I snapped at him, now bawling like a five year old.

Heero then did something rather odd, well…not odd, more like random and out of place. He shoved me up against the door of his car and kissed me hard on the lips. Okay, so it was nice and all that, but I'm crying my eyes out; getting someone's tongue shoved down my throat is a polite, personal way to say, just shut the fuck up, you're giving me a headache.

"Get in the care, I'll take you home."

Oh yeah, that's a nice romantic thing to say after a kiss like that. That boy is in some serious need of some class, I think a chick flick marathon is in order.

I nodded slowly in a very awkward state and got in the passenger's seat.

We had a silent, yet nice, ride back to my house. When we arrived, my mother was at work, I'd be all by myself.

Heero's car pulled up next to my driveway, but I didn't get out. I stared bleakly at my empty home. For once in my life, I had managed to find happiness in one of my many moves, but now it had been shot to Hell by a life size Barbie doll on a power trip. I didn't want to leave Heero, I loved Heero. Why does this always happen to me? Great, here I go crying again.

I hurriedly wiped the tears away, but they didn't go unnoticed. Heero leaned over and kissed one away.

"Heero…I-I don't want to go in there. I don't want to have to face my mother…" I softly said into his shoulder.

"Duo, she's not even home." Heero told me softly.

"I don't care. I just don't want to be all by myself and have to wait for her to scream at me again."

Heero gave a heavy sigh, a sign that he's giving in. I win.

I looked up at him slowly with……the puppy eyes.

"Don't start that." He muttered and looked away.

"Start what?" I asked looking up from his shoulder.

He half smiled at me.

"You know what I mean. Come on, you can come to my house."

He threw an arm over me as he pulled the car to the drive on the right instead of the left.

Heero's house was the Hell of a lot different than I expected. For one thing it was completely spotless. The hospital was a junkyard compared to this place. All the furniture was coordinated and modern, lots of black leather and steel. It looked like one of those dream homes you see in magazines, you know, the ones that look amazing, but not lived in?

"Wow…you're parents must be rich to afford all this." I uttered in amazement as we walked inside.

Heero shrugged.

"Holy shit! Is that a big screen??" I hopped over the black sofas to get a better look at the giant plasma screen that towered before me.

"You sure cheer up easily."

I turned and grinned from ear to ear. I do cheer up easily. I can't help it, I just don't like staying down in the dumps, I'd rather be happy. I waved the remote at him.

"Can I turn it on? Can I? Can I?"

Heero slumped down next to me, much less amused.

"Sure, go ahead. Over seven hundred channels and there's still nothing on."

"That can't be true. Seven hundred channels? Come on, there's gotta be something."

There wasn't.

It hadn't even been ten minutes before we'd settled on making out while a Martha Stuart rerun ran in the background.

Heero lay on top of me kissing me with a bit more force than usual.

"No more surprises under there?" he muttered into my ear; his hot breath covering my ear.

"Pretty sure. Unless they changed without my notice."

Heero licked the side of my neck and I couldn't help but moan and feel like I was melting into a puddle of horny goo.

He lifted up my shirt. His hands were warm and roamed up my back. He kissed me from my collar bone down to the top of my jeans.

I swallowed hard.

I'm not gonna lie, I'd never been so hard in my life. But I was also scared, I'm not used to getting this far with anyone, especially not a guy who knows I'm really a guy and still wants to fuck me anyway.

"Let's finish upstairs." Heero whispered to me hoarsely.

Finish!?

I only nodded my head, almost sleepily, and Heero dragged me up off the couch and headed to some stairs.

I felt dazed, as if I were in one of those dreams you get when you're half awake and half asleep.

I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs while getting my shirt thrown off and my shoes kicked away.

Next thing I know I was loosely shoved onto a soft, unmade bed and having Heero crawl over me and undo my jeans.

"Heero I've –"

"I know."

"Have you?"

"No."

"Are you?"

"Yeah."

"Will it hurt?"

"Probably."

Heero was completely out of his cloths and hovering over me. I tried not to look down, and failed miserably. I felt my face heat up from blushing and looked the other way.

To be continued…

Author's Notes: HA!!!! I finished and……………I was evil and cut it off right when it was getting good. Don't worry pets, there will be a nice little limey lemon in the next chapter. And I confess, I stopped there because I was loosing too much blood from nose bleeds from attempting to right more of that scene. So if the page looks kinda red, that was me and my fantasizing, I was a bad girl. But when the room stops spinning I'll finish it in the next chapter.

**Note: **I am moving all of my works over to also. So if you see them posted there under the user name 'neko-hanyou', don't freak out and go 'OMG! YOU'RE PLAGURIZING BLACKSTAR'S SHIT!!!!' It's just me posting my stuff. But if you see some other name posting them, please e-mail me so I may go kick their ass. And I am also looking around at beta readers, so if you are interested, e-mail me or review me or something, but please include your own address so I may reply. But know this, I am a very impatient person, so I make no promises on how good of a client I will be. Sorry. Thank you!!!! hugs to all

-BlackStar


	11. No Where

Heero's tongue slipped into my mouth, licking everything he could find in there. It felt good…really good. I moaned and that only made him do it more. I could feel his body over mine; his body heat was wrapped around me like a blanket.

He bit the side of my neck and started tugging at the hem of my jeans.

I wiggled out from under him and sat up.

He gave me a concerned and slightly pleading look, guess I don't have to mention that he was about as horny as me. Probably more.

"Everything okay beautiful?" he asked me, propping himself up on an elbow.

I gave him a ridiculous grin.

"Just felt like doing the honors myself." I answered and pulled off my jeans thanking whatever God was in heaven that I had gone to school with guy's underwear on and not that horrid lacy crap my mom forces on me.

Heero smiled at me as he playfully pulled me on top of him. Ya know I kinda like it up here.

He lightly pulled my braid and kissed me again.

"Still have one piece left on you." Heero told me.

"I thought I'd leave that for you to do."

And that my friends, is the first time I'd ever seen Heero Yuy blush.

He hesitated, then pulled them off and I sat on top of him in full naked glory. I was surprised to find I wasn't the least bit self-conscious.

"Heero, you ready?"

"Not if it means I have to stop staring at you, no." He answered, leaning back and looking me over hungrily.

I laughed and playfully punched him the chest. It was the best thing I could come up with. I didn't really know what to do. Well I knew what was supposed to happen, but I was still trying to get over the fact that I was going to be doing it.

"You gonna get off me then?" Heero have grunted at me.

I could feel his reason for being so…well…caveman like hardening against my thigh.

"Wait, why am I getting off, I thought you…"

Heero shot me an odd look.

"You thought you were gonna be on top?"

I mumbled and looked away. I didn't think I was gonna be on the bottom either.

He put his hand on my face and brushed his thumb over my lips.

"Hey…it's alright; I'll be careful, promise."

I nodded very slightly and started to move to the other side of the bed. I could see my hands shaking nervously. The concept of what I was about to do was becoming a little too real for me.

I laid on my back, Heero moved on top of me, putting himself between my legs. He reached out his hand and stroked…erm…well……wow, it's getting stuffy in here; maybe I should open a window!

Okay, breathe Duo, it's only the story of the first time you had sex with Heero, definitely not the last, but the first.

He stroked my dick, which I wasn't expecting, so I let out a rough moan and slammed my eyes shut, hoping he'd keep doing it. He did. His hands kept rubbing just the right way to make me melt and beg for more. Wow…that sounds like a line from one of those sappy romance novels my mom hides under her bed.

Heero moved closer and kissed my face, gently and kindly, something he doesn't do very often. It made me feel wanted, and loved. I nuzzled my forehead against his and looked up at him, smiling softly.

Things became much heavier after that. I learned what strawberry kiwi lube was. That was entertaining, I also found it is a lot of fun to 'play' with too if you catch my drift.

Heero was right; it hurt, like all Hell. But only at first…okay so my eyes were as large as dinner plates and I swore over and over again that it wouldn't fit. We fixed that pretty fast.

I was sweaty, and covered in a number of fluids I won't name, and under any other circumstances I would've felt like I had crawled out of a French sewer, but this wasn't France, yes, there was hot and heavy sex, but still not France, and I was with Heero, and he was in me and it was pure heaven.

We moaned and grunted each others names, moving against each other in this complicated rhythm. We kept going, moving the rhythm along faster and faster. Heero bit my shoulder aggressively, and I gasped. A spot somewhere inside my body was hit repeatedly, and I started moaning louder and louder, calling Heero's name and asking for more.

Heero had a grip on my hips that suddenly tightened as he thrust into me harder and something wet leaked inside me. I was just about there, screaming loud enough to wake the dead, and the door opens.

Heero's parents are home.

My first impression: damn them to the fiery pits of Hell for not knocking first.

The two of us froze, in about the most obvious position you can think of. The look on the faces of Heero's parents was…hard to read. They obviously knew they had interrupted something, because they were having a hard time keeping eye contact.

"Kasan…Otosan…you're home…" Heero managed to say.

His father spoke first.

"Ah…Heero…sorry, we'll um…be downstairs. You can introduce you're new lady friend when you…finish." He stuttered, glancing at me, then back to his son.

_"Thank God for looking like a woman."_ I thought to myself.

Heero's mother frowned.

"Dear…that's not a girl that's under or son." She stated firmly, giving Heero a look of pure loathing.

Heero's father did a double take.

"What, are you sure!?"

She pointed straight at me while looking at her husband.

"No girl is that flat, ever."

Heero's father's eyes flashed with understanding, and instantly filled with severe anger.

I watched as Heero's entire body tensed.

"Otosan I can explain!" Heero broke out immediately.

I didn't know what was going on now, Heero was explaining in Japanese, but his parents' looks of hatred weren't changing one little bit.

His father pointed at me and shouted in plain English, "You. Get out. Now."

I nodded quickly and gave him a quiet 'Yes, sir.' I tried to move, then froze and looked up at Heero. Heero looked back and understood what I needed. He tore his eyes away from me and his parents and quietly pulled out of me.

His mother turned her face away in disgust, while his Father began to shake with anger. I pulled on some cloths and raced out the door which slammed shut with such force that for the first time I worried about Heero's well-being.

It sounded like all Hell broke loose in that room. There was screaming, and arguing, and I even began to here thuds and sounds of struggling.

Scared I ran downstairs and out the door, ready to run home, but something made me stop. I skidded to a halt out in the front lawn and looked up. I had no idea what was going on up there, but I could still hear it all the way out here. I knew that when Heero got out of there he was going to need me, badly. Knowing that, I took a deep breathe and sat my ass down on those front steps to wait for him.

About an hour had gone by when the front door was wrenched open and someone came storming out of the house. I turned around to see Heero standing right behind me.

"Oh my God."

I jumped up and rushed over to him. His lip was busted, and blood was creeping out from his hair. He sported a black eye and was hunched over slightly.

He stared at me, like he didn't believe I was really there.

"Duo? What are you…?"

Someone else was coming to the front door. Quickly, Heero grabbed my wrist and ran for his car, ordering me inside.

Heero's dad came limping out of the house and over to the car, his nose was bleeding and beginning to swell, but he still wanted a piece of his son to beat to a bloody pulp.

The car engine sprang to life and Heero backed out of the driveway before his dad could reach us. We sped off down the road.

Heero had a death grip on the steering wheel and was focusing so much on the road you'd think he was trying to make it burst into flame. We'd been driving like this for two solid hours, and were already a good eighty miles from town.

"We're running low on gas Heero." I told him softly.

"Hn." He grunted.

I frowned, wishing I knew what to do to help, and turned to look out the window. The car swerved down a dusty, abandoned road and was parked in the middle of an open field. When I realized we had stopped, Heero was lying against my chest and holding me around my middle.

I gave him a half-smile and put my arms around him as lovingly as I could.

There was a tiny sniffle that came from Heero's direction.

"Car ran outta gas." He muttered.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Now we're getting somewhere.

And I have chosen my beta reader who I will be emailing shortly.


	12. Slight Intermission

In all honesty, I don't know how long we stayed out in the field. As long as Heero needed to I guess. It was getting dark out, I know his parents wouldn't give a shit if he came home or not, but my Mom would send the national guard out looking for me if I didn't show up soon.

I feel myself smile. Somehow, that didn't seem too important at the time.

"Hey… Heero?" I was looking down at the half collapsed form laying there with its head in my lap. Some time ago, we had moved from the inside of the car and now lay on its hood.

"…yeah?"

"You think we should look for something to eat? It's getting kinda late…" I let the rest of my words fall off, not sure if my boyfriend even had the will to face people again.

He stared up at the sky instead of answering me, I stared too.

The sun had just slipped below the horizon and the sky grew to a midnight blue. Stars began to blink into existence, out in the middle of that open field. I saw more stars than I thought possible, more than I had ever seen in any city I have ever lived in. We both just stared up, losing ourselves in silence.

Now that I had the chance to think, it hit me how fucked up the world really was. True, I hadn't known Heero for a long time, but in the short time I have known him, it felt like he understood what I went through every damn day of my life, when no one else did. When you're a gay teenager growing up in a place where the majority of your species thinks your way of living is sickening. Along with that mix in parental enforced cross dressing, not many people understand how much shit you put up with. But Heero did.

Okay, okay, so he never had his mom force him into a dress, but he had to hide. Just like me. In reality we are still hiding. From society from our friends, from the world even, but not from each other, we don't have to do that anymore. But there are major differences in our situation, for instance, I have the support of my family. Whether anyone takes my word for it or not, the support of your family is a crucial thing to surviving life. I mean, if the place where you live and grow doesn't support you, or care about you, then life really, doesn't seem worth going on with.

And now Heero didn't even have a family to support him. I can't imagine what if must feel like to have your own parents hate you, and beat you just for… loving someone. I don't get it! Why do they even fucking care so much? Christ! He fell in love with me, it's not his fault, and it's not mine for loving him back, who the hell cares? It's our own damn business! So why did they hurt him so much? Why do they continue hurting him? Someone please tell me! I don't like seeing him like this, he's not the same. They're fucking bastards for doing this to him. They can't even call themselves parents. Fine, so walking in on your one and only son having sex with another guy is probably a bit on the awkward side, but so would walking in on him having sex with a girl. Hell, at least I can't get pregnant.

"Duo?" I pulled myself out of my silent rant to the sky and looked down at him.

"Yes, Heero?"

"Let's get some food."

I gave a small smile nodding in agreement.

We slid off the car making our way back towards the roadway. I slipped my hand into Heero's. I'm pretty sure that no amount of words could describe say more than this. Me holding his hand means that he has support from me, that I would never abandon him like everyone else had. There was a slight pressure on my hand as Heero squeezed it slightly and we walked down the road in a quiet understanding.

Author's Short Statement: Yes, yes I know it's waaaaaaaay too short to be called a chapter. Hence the title 'Intermission', and no that doesn't mean I'm taking a break, it just means that this was all I could come up with and that it seems to stand pretty much on its own and that another 'hopefully really long chapter to compensate for this' will be posted later. I've been working on some original work lately, and it seems to have taken up a lot of my time.

Sorry

BlackStar


	13. Grease and Drugs

**Before you Start:** Okay, this is just me and my impatience, but this chapter has not been beta read yet, it's no ones fault, I just wanted to post something, so A REVISED VERSION WILL BE POSTED IN DUE TIME, this isn't the 'official' chapter. **AND:** I must warn you, I got a bit silly later in this chapter, multiple times. And so I don't offend anyone, I give you the following warnings: Poking fun at Southern accents, I happen to have one and live in the great ol' South and I am damn proud of our unique speakin' abilities, a very, VERY OOC Zechs, yes he is here and no he is not having crazy sex with Heero or Duo, not to say that he doesn't try.

We sat down on the cheap, red, vinyl seats of the small musty diner, two and a half miles of walking and this was the best we could find. Now that's just proof we're beyond civilization, there's not even a Wal-Mart out here, a frickin' Wal-Mart!

Heero sat across from me and picked up one of the laminated menus from the table and began to browse through it.

He quirked an eyebrow.

"Does anything in here not come soaked in grease?" he whispered.

I grinned, he was making something similar to a joke, what I call Heero humor, doesn't come around too often. It was good to see his mood had improved.

"But that's the heart of American food! Besides, it still tastes good, even though no one will admit it." I answered.

"Hnn." Was my reply. Okay so it hasn't improved _that_ much.

A waitress with Dolly Parton hair, heavy electric blue eye make up, cat eye glasses and a flashy smile came up to our table.

"Welcome to Millie's Diner, what'ch ya'll in for?" she asks. (Oh yeah, definitely beyond civilization)

"I'll have a burger and fries with a coke." I told her, smiling back, I liked her, she was really nice.

"I'll have what he's having." Heero answered.

The waitress nodded and shouted something in secret diner language to the cook as she walked off.

"I'm willing to try this whole 'grease is good' thing, but if I get a heart attack and die, it's entirely your fault."

I shrugged, "There are worse things."

There was a strange silence, Heero staring at the napkin holder.

"You're good at sex. Can we do it again?"

I blew some of my freshly arrived coke out of my nose and gagged.

"Uh……do you always ask socially inappropriate questions in public?" was the best come back I could shoot back at him.

Heero looked right at me and put, rather bluntly, "It's true. You're good at sex, and I would like to do it again. Asking another question will not divert me from seeking an answer."

He just went completely anal on me…it's kind of a weird turn on.

I sighed and gave in.

"Alright, alright. Geez you're persistent. Sure we can do it again, but preferably a place where we can't get caught, again." I answered.

Heero gave a curt nod and went back to staring at nothing in particular. Maybe bringing up the incident with his parents wasn't on my list of smartest things I've said, which is a rather short list now that I think about it.

The waitress arrived with our food and told us to shout for her, Susie May was her name, if we needed anything.

Heero hesitantly bit his burger and waited as if expecting some horrible disease to plague him the moment he swallowed.

"…this is good…"

I smiled and drowned my fries in ketchup, "See, I told you. You should trust me more often."

I felt something bump into my leg as Heero took a large bite out of his burger. Lord I think his social skills are improving, bring out the champagne!

After finishing a lovely, non-heart-attack-causing meal, we paid the bill and left in search of a gas station. We really didn't feel like pushing the car all the way back to town, but there was one tiny little problem…we couldn't _find_ a gas station.

"Heero we've been searching for the past hour and a half, face it, aliens must've abducted every gas station from here to Mexico!" I whined.

"Duo, contrary to popular belief, whining does not make gas stations appear out of mid-air." Heero snapped.

We walked up the hill in the road and low and behold a gas station was on the other side. Maybe I should try whining for a Ferrari next.

"You were saying Mr. Yuy?" I teased and walked down the hill ahead of him as he muttered, "How the Hell…?"

Just like Millie's Diner, the whine produced gas station was in the middle of now where, unlike Millie's Diner, there was not a soul to come help us.

We opened up the door to the small building, the door bell sounded, but no one answered. Everything was clean and well stocked, the lights were even on, it was really odd.

"Anyone here?" Heero called out.

There was some loud crashing coming from the back.

A tall man with long, white blonde hair stumbled out from the storage room, along with him came the strong smell of smoke and marijuana. Great a stoned gas attendant, what else?

"Hello isn't anyone helping you?" he asked us, his eyes glazed over and dilated.

"You're the only one working here." Heero answered, glaring at the stoned attendant.

The attendant's face lit up as if he had just had some glorious revelation.

"Oh yeah."

Heero shook his head, disgusted.

"Will you help us then?"

The man stuck out his hand.

"I'm Zechs."

"That's nice, will you help us?"

"Please don't tell my boss about the joints, it was only two." Zechs continued, completely deaf to Heero's words.

"You're boss isn't even here!" Heero snapped at him.

Zechs voice went quiet as he leaned over the counter to us.

"He has eyes everywhere." He whispered in an eerie voice and pointed to the surveillance camera.

I shoved Heero aside, whose head might pop off any second, and smiled flirtatiously at Zechs.

"We won't tell him a thing if you help us, Honey." I told him, putting my hand over his.

Zechs grinned like a kid at Christmas, he made be stoned, but flirting he could understand.

"Sure I'll help you Sweetheart." He answered, and grabbed my wrist, pulled me forward and kissed me.

Oops.

Well if Heero's head didn't pop off, Zechs's was about to. It took less than two seconds for Heero to pull us apart and wrap his hands around Zechs's throat.

"Don't touch him, he's mine." Heero said quietly.

"Guuuhhhh-aaackkk…" Zechs replied.

Apparently that is a sound of agreement, as Heero quickly let go of him and wrapped an arm around my waist. Why do I have to be so damn desirable?

Zechs slouched against the counter, gasping.

"You really don't look like a guy." He told me.

Just goes to show you really must be stoned if you can make a gender remark after being strangled half to death.

I shrugged and leaned against Heero.

"You never asked."

"I like 'em either way." Zechs answered.

Heero intervened.

"Can you give us some gas or not?" he demanded.

Zechs casually looked over at him.

"What, too good to do it yourself?" he asked.

Before Heero could try a shot a murder again, I jumped in.

"Our car ran out of gas a good ways back, we need to carry some gas back to it and get home." I told him.

Zechs gave a nod of understanding.

"I see, head on out back, I've got some in the back of my truck, I'll give you a ride. As long as he doesn't try and kill me again."

I shook my head and assured him that Heero wouldn't…I hope.

The three of us cramped into Zechs's truck, I was stuck in the middle, something Heero wasn't happy with. I continued to slap Zechs's hand from my knee all the way back to Heero's car. And it's a miracle we didn't crash and burn on the way home with Zechs's driving. I wonder how many high ways that man was seeing.

We pulled into the dusty road and Zech's brought the gas to Heero's car and graciously filled it up for us for free, probably because he was afraid he might leave with some limbs missing if he asked Heero for money. He waved good-bye and told me if I ever wanted some 'real fun' I knew where to find him and left.

"I don't like that guy." Heero said.

"Really? I didn't notice."

"Oh that was really original." Heero snorted.

I grinned and leaned against the back of the car.

"Now where?" I asked.

Heero stared back into the direction of our town.

"Anywhere but there." He answered.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind.

"I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth, and as corny as that sounds, I mean it." I told him softly.

Heero gave a small chuckle.

"I know you do Beautiful." He answered, and swung around so he was facing me.

"Is this the point where we kiss?" I ask.

Heero smiled seductively.

"We could do something better than kissing."

I laughed and tugged him towards the open car door.

Somehow in some weird way, even though we made absolutely no progress, aside from seeing the results of heavy drug use, it felt like we had taken a small step towards, I don't know, somewhere, if that makes any sense at all.

TBC

Author's Notes:

Yes, for those of you who can't pick up on implied events, they're having sex, _again_, and as much as I would adore doing a juicy lemon, I don't wish to push my luck with too far. Just, use your imaginations; we all know how fun that can be. grins impishly

BlackStar


	14. Thursdays

I opened one bleary eye and was met with harsh sunlight shining right into my sleep ridden retina, so naturally I cursed.

"Fuck. It's morning."

I rubbed my eyes fiercely, still squinting from the stupid sun and all it shiny brightness and groped around for my shirt, and pants, and socks, and underwear, not to mention my shoes, shoes were good.

Somewhere in the search for all my articles of clothing I wondered what time it was. I didn't have a watch, or any other device that told time. I wondered if Heero did. I glanced over my shoulder and spotted a silver, not to mention expensive looking, watch on his wrist. I carefully turned his wrist slightly and read the time, 7:15 in the god damned morning. I couldn't believe it, some how I, a teenaged boy at the age of 16, had managed to open my eyes, think in complete sentences and get half dressed, in a car no less, all before noon.

Yup, it's official, there's definitely something wrong with me.

I opened up the car door and tried to quietly crawl out without waking Heero up, but at the last minute my foot got caught on the front seat and I slammed my chin on the inside of the door, so naturally I cursed again.

"Shit that hurt!"

The no longer sleeping body in the backseat shifted sleepily.

"Duo?"

"Murrrrrrgh." I noised, rubbing my hurt chin.

"What was that?" Heero asked, placing his chin on the front seat.

"Me getting injured by your car."

"Yes, she does get a little pissy when I bring another lover around."

"Uh if you're gay, shouldn't your car be a he instead?" I asked.

"All cars are she's Duo." Heero answers, beginning his own individual search for his cloths.

"Says who?"

"It's an unwritten law of the universe; all cars are she's, end of story. Hey do you see my right shoe up there somewhere?"

I picked it up off the passenger side floor and tossed it back hearing it land with a satisfying 'thunk' on my target.

"Shit that hurt!"

Great minds think alike.

Laughing, I scurried out of the car before Heero could get at me. I stretched in the morning breeze; maybe this time of the day wasn't so bad after all. The sun wasn't very far above the horizon and cast a blazing orange glow across the sky. Beautiful. The wind blew against my bare back and I felt the goose bumps rise. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my arms. It was still early spring, not quite warm enough to waltz around half naked in the early morning light.

Just as I turned back towards the car to retrieve my shirt, it was chucked at my face, and that's when I noticed how bad it smelled.

"Eww, my cloths smell like…like…I don't know but something really disgusting."

I heard Heero laugh as I pulled my unknown smell smelling shirt over my head. Hey, he laughed, and not because he said something sarcastic or did something mean to me! Because I said something strange! Yay, improvement!

"You laughed." I said, smiling.

"Can't be helped, you're just so damn amusing." He answered.

"You forgot sexy." I pointed out.

"And sexy." He added, touching his forehead to mine and slipping his hands around my waist.

"Today's Thursday." I said aloud.

"Yes, and after that comes Friday. Good Duo! You earn a gold star!" Heero teases.

"Screw the gold star! Heero we have school today!" I shouted, stepping away from our embrace.

"I'm not going back to school Duo." Heero tells me.

I paused mid-panic (my mother would shoot me for skipping out on school, Hell she's already going to draw and quarter me for being gone the whole night.) and looked at Heero like he had just said the sky was falling.

"What?"

"I said I'm not going back to school Duo." Heero repeated with a slight edge in his voice.

I knew I didn't have to ask why, I already knew the answer, but I didn't let that stop me.

"Why not Heero?"

"Why the Hell do you think? I'm never going back to that stinking shit-hole of town again!" he yelled at me.

I backed away, I was scared shitless, I'd never seen him like this. It's like someone went into his head and flipped the insanity switch or something. He'd never yelled at me before, not like that; granted we'd only known each other for a few months or so, but still, he was never this scary before.

"Heero, please don't yell at me, I was only asking." I whispered.

He seemed to calm down and walked towards me, taking a hold of my wrist, pulling me closer.

"Duo come with me." He pleads.

"What? Come where? Where are you going to go?" I asked.

"Anywhere! Anywhere we want! It doesn't matter, just come with me, we can stay together!" he says, and it scares me because I think he's serious.

What do I say to that? I only stared at him. He looked, delirious. He had this big, detached smile on his face and the look in his eyes gave the impression that he thought the world was made of dancing butterflies and singing woodland animals.

"Heero stop. Please stop. I have to go home, we have to go home Heero, we can't just leave!"

"And why the Hell not?" Heero shouted and gripped my wrist tightly.

"Heero stop it you're hurting me!" I cried.

I was trembling, and on the verge of crying. I don't care how fucking wimpy that was I was fucking terrified! What was wrong with Heero? He was fine only yesterday! Hell he was fine only three minutes ago and smiling and laughing. Now he was acting like a crazed maniac, talking nonsense and hurting me. Like he just couldn't take it anymore and snapped.

I pulled against his grip on my wrist, which he still had a painful hold on. I screamed and screamed for him to cut the shit and let go.

"GOD DAMMIT HEERO YUY LET GO OF MY FUCKING WRIST!" I screamed as loud as my vocal chords would allow.

His grip weakened suddenly and I pulled away only to gracefully stumble to the ground and shuffle away from him.

"Duo are you alright?" Heero asks frantically, but his voice was much calmer.

Not that I really cared at that point.

"No! Get the fuck away from me!" I cried, my voice cracking because my throat was so raw.

"Duo…I'm sorry." Heero whispered, falling to the ground a few feet from me.

"I don't care if you're sorry you dumb shit!" I snapped, sniffing horribly and wiping my face with the back of my hand.

I looked him straight in the eye so I could yell at him some more and call him things that could make God himself deaf, but one look in his eyes and all anger in me was squished out.

He looked so…broken. Not quite pathetic, and not exactly upset either, just broken. Like soldiers you see returning home from a war, people who've gone through so much Hell that they just can't take it anymore; that's what he looked like. It didn't take long to feel the world's biggest guilt trip coming on shortly afterward. How could I sit there screaming at him and adding to the hurt his parents had already put on him only the day before? I wasn't the one in pain, he was, not me, I was being selfish when I shouldn't have.

I got to my knees and shuffled my way over to him and threw my arms around his neck and hung on like it was life or death.

"I'm sorry Duo. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened." Heero muttered into my hair, holding me tightly by the waist.

"You idiot, don't apologize. It's okay." I told him softly.

"No it's not. I hurt you. I hurt you, I love you. I'm not supposed to hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry Duo, I'm sorry." He protested, his voice getting weaker and weaker the more he spoke.

"Shhh, you're repeating yourself you big dummy. I'm okay, nothing's broken. You can't get rid of me that easily. I love you too Heero. It's okay." I feel horrible for observing this but, people seem to repeat themselves needlessly during dramatic times, kind of sappy to be honest, but effective.

Heero nodded slightly, sniffling.

I went quiet for a while. We still needed to get home, but after my last attempt at suggesting such actions…forgive me if I wasn't hasty to suggest it again.

"So…I guess we should…head back?" a small voice called out from somewhere in a tangle of my hair and shoulder.

"Hm?" I voiced sleepily, we had been sitting in silence for a good half hour or so.

"I'm ready to go back." The same voice replied, with undertones of amusement at my lack of coherency.

"You sure? We don't have to if you really don't want to." I replied, pulling him into my lap and holding him to my chest.

"I don't really want to go, but I have to face it sometime." Heero replied, squirming into a more comfortable position in my lap. He's so cute when he does that, just makes me want to hug him and squeeze him and love him to tiny, little bits.

"That's true." I remarked absently, running my fingers through his hair.

"Since when have you been the dominant one in the relationship?" Heero asked me, a small purr in his voice.

I chuckled quietly.

"Power shifts from person to person, guess it's just my turn. That's not a complaint I'm hearing is it?"

Heero shook his head discreetly and nuzzled my shoulder, closing his eyes slowly.

"Heero?"

"Mmm?"

I had to smile.

"This doesn't really qualify as leaving."

"Don't care." He sighed, voice growing distant, he was falling asleep.

I guess I wouldn't have minded staying in that field a little longer, it's not like I really wanted to return to town much more than Heero did, I had my own demons to face, evil, pink-loving, preppy demons none-the-less. But the thought of what my mother would do to me after I was missing for two straight days was my motivation, though he was so cute sleeping on my lap I didn't want to disturb him!

Eternal grounding and probable bodily harm vs. disturbing the impossibly cute and sleeping boyfriend, hmm……damn my mother and her freakish ability to rival Satan's cruelty.

Careful to move as little as possible, I shifted Heero into a more helpful position and moved his sleeping self to the backseat of the car. It took a while, but I managed to fish his car keys out of his pants pocket without waking him up. I started the car and made the long trek back to Hell; I mean home, same difference at this point.

An hour and a half or so later, I'm a speed demon I'll admit it, and we had hit town. I was planning on driving into my driveway, then I remembered something: I'm in Heero's car, Heero is my neighbor, if Heero's parents see his car across the street they'll come looking for him at my house and that won't be considered a good thing. I can't believe I nearly pulled into my driveway without thinking of my boyfriend's well-being. I can be such a dipshit some days. I'm always more dipshittier on Thursdays, why Thursdays?

Making a fast and illegal U-turn I zoomed away a good two miles or so and parked the car in a random parking deck on some floor that I don't remember, because it's a parking deck and no one ever remembers where they've parked on a parking deck, because it's precisely that, a parking deck, and they look the exact same on every floor and are therefore impossible to navigate.

I reached behind me and shook Heero gently by the shoulder.

"Heero."

Nothing.

"Heeeero."

More nothing.

"Heeeeeeroooooo."

Nope, still nothing.

This calls for drastic measures.

I leaned down and nipped a certain spot on Heero's neck that always gets a certain _reaction_ from him.

A low purr came from deep in his throat mixed with him shifting around in the backseat. Finally, a sign of semi-consciousness.

I pulled on his ear lobe lightly with my teeth, issuing incoherent moans accompanied by more shifting. The more I toyed with him, the more I grew suspicious that we was well awake and just wanting me to keep going.

I sat up and glowered at him, manipulating physical and sexual attention into his favor, the meanie. And just because I was enjoying it slightly does not make me a hypocrite in any way.

"Alright Heero, you've had your fun. Now get your lazy ass up and out of this car."

He stretched and rolled over to face me.

"Damn, and it felt so good too." He grinned.

"Do you ever think without you're balls?" I asked.

"Nope."

Well, at least he's open about it.

I shook my head and climbed out. There was no end to the blatant lack of sexual morality that this man that I was head over heels in love with possessed. This must be an example of God's 'queer' sense of humor. Oh yeah, I made a pun!

"Why are we in a parking deck?" Heero asks, steping out of the car.

"Thursdays." I answered.

"Thursdays?" Heero inquired.

"Yes, Thursdays." I replied.

"Okay, I'm going to sit down for this one." Heero answered, sitting down on the car's hood.

I puffed out my cheeks in my chipmunk glare and all its nonexistent horror.

"Are you mocking me Heero Yuy?"

"No, no. I'm just bracing myself for one of your little insane explanations of how the Duo Maxwell mind works."

"Oh."

Well, there's no beating that.

"You were going on about Thursdays?" Heero continued.

"Right, yeah. Okay, well I was just about to turn into my driveway when it hits me that we're in your car. And if your parents, who happen to live across from my house, see your car, then they'll come looking for you in my house and that won't be a happy thing." I explained.

Heero sat there a moment, mulling it over in his head.

"How do Thursdays fit into this?"

"Oh, well I'm always a bit slower on Thursdays, which is why it took me so long to remember about being in your car and your parents and all that. Now come on, we've got to head back to my house."

Heero didn't make a move.

"Is your butt glued to the car or what?" I asked, plainly annoyed.

Heero just stared at me like I was mental patient in need of a straight jacket; of course if I heard someone give a whole rant about Thursdays then I'd probably look the same.

"You're crazy." Heero told me.

"…"

"No, I'm serious. You really are crazy."

"And…?"

There was a long pause.

"And nothing just thought I'd point it out."

I grinned, not many people put up with my oddness, but it didn't seem to bother Heero. Of course, he's a bit of a cracked nut himself, so I guess birds of a feather flock together.

"Well, now that we got that settled, let's go. My house, now, before my mother gets anymore mad and castrates me or something worse."

"Duo wait!"

"No what!" I barked.

"It's just. Being at my parents' house is the last thing I could want right now. So why on Earth are we heading back in that direction?"

I quickly walked up and kissed him.

Heero pressed his forehead to mine and we swayed a bit from side to side.

"Not that I didn't enjoy that, but what was it for?"

"No reason, but, I thought, since you couldn't live at home right now, maybe, you'd like to live at my house."

This time I was the one being kissed.

"I'd love to Beautiful, just one question though."

"Hmm?"

"How are we going to keep my parents from finding out if they live across the street from you?" he asked

That could be a slight flaw…

"We'll figure something out." I answered.

…that could be worked out later.

TBC

Author's Long Babble of Words That No One Cares About:

At last I finished! I know, once again I have failed to update recently, and have done so only after being threatened with numerous imaginary, but deadly, objects that would be used to do me severe bodily harm. Just kidding.

So, it is now 12:30 on my last week of summer vacation and holy crap it's almost been two years since I started this long, psycho-babble called a fanfic. I'm glad ya'll like it so much.

I apologize if towards the end of this chapter, my errors became more numerous, the plot started to get a bit crazy, and a little too much pointless humor was added, it's the sleep deprivation setting in. Gomen nasai mina! (I'm sorry everyone; for those of you who don't understand Japanese.)

Oh! And one of the reasons I didn't update this summer, I was in Japan for a little bit and was having too much fun drooling over the pretty cosplayers, and Japanese men to pay a lick of attention to anything else. Don't hate me for going, blame People to People!

- For those of you old enough to remember 'Tiny Toon Adventures', this is a take on Elmira's famous line. God I'm getting old.


	15. No Quickies

"Duo! I'm home sweetie!"

I jerked my head up off the couch, it was dark outside and the DVD player read 11:30, yay, Mommy is home. Heero slept peacefully on my shoulder.

"We're in here!" I called.

"Who's we?" she asks as she steps into the living room, "Ooooh…."

I grin sheepishly and give her a casual shrug. She purses her lips, staring at me for a bit.

"I'll get out the ice cream; meet me in the kitchen in five minutes. Leave him there."

She walks away before I can answer. I'm not sure if I'm getting ice cream because it'll be my last meal, or because in the past we've used it as our negotiator, guess I'll find out.

I tactfully maneuvered out from underneath Heero without waking him, and slip into the kitchen, where a bowl of chocolate ice cream meets me.

"Sit, eat and explain."

I take a deep breath and make the plunge.

"Well, the kids at school found out about Heero and me…and well, I got into a fight and Heero, he protected me and we got into his car and took off. It was soooooo sweet Mom! He just forced his way through the crowd, grabbed me by the arm and whisked my away from danger. I swear all he was missing was a charging, white, steed-"

"Duo get to the part where he winds up on my sofa." My mother interrupts.

Just rain on my romantic parade.

"I'm getting to that! See we were at his house, having a good time. And his parents…erm…walked in…" I cover my ears and clamp my eyes shut, preparing myself for the pending nuclear blast…but they don't come.

I peep one eye open and see my mother giving me the strangest look I've ever seen her give.

"We uh…had sex." I clarify.

"I got that Duo." She replies.

"And I'm not going to be sacrificed to the vengeful gods of protective parents, nor is my boyfriend going to be gelded and sold into slavery in, I don't know, Kazakhstan?"

"Kazakhstan?"

"Mom!" I whine.

My mother clasps my hands and kisses one gently.

"Baby, you're sixteen now, and after that day at the hospital, I realized how…unreasonable I was being."

"That's an understatement." I mumble.

"Duo…"

I grin innocently, and she continues, "I just knew that I couldn't hold on anymore…your sister is gone, has been gone for many years. And by forcing you to be like a girl, I missed my beautiful boy growing up to be the wonderful young man he is now. What I mean is you're no longer a manageable, naïve child, but an individual with opinions and ideas of their own. You're out of my hands, well mostly, so I guess I should let you start dressing how ever you like. And as to having sex with Heero, you end up forget a condom one time and it's off to Kazakhstan for the both of you."

I'm rendered momentarily speechless.

"Now, with that lecture out of the way, continue your tale my dear." My Mom says, smiling a little evil, but oddly enough, loving, smile.

"Okay…well at first his dad thought I was a girl, so we almost got off the hook, but then his mom had to go and notice my lack of breast. Then, God, it was like watching a tornado touch down. Heero's dad went nuts, I was kicked out of the room and I could hear them fighting as I ran out the door. So I waited outside for an hour, and finally Heero came outside. Mom, he was so bloody and beaten, I thought his dad was gonna put him in the hospital it was so bad. We got into the car, leaving his parents in the dust and drove. We ended up in some field for the night, where Heero fell apart right in my arms. I convinced him to drive back to town, and well, I didn't think you'd mind if he stayed at our house until his house cools down."

My mom eats her ice cream complantivley, staring at nothing as she thought it over.

I poke at my ice cream and it slowly turns into ice cream soup.

"They really beat him?" she asks.

I nod.

My mom shovels a big, pondering bite into her mouth.

"Alright, he can stay. But, he has to do his share of work, and give his word that he will attempt to fix things with his family. And, he has to sleep in the other room."

I dropped my spoon into my ice cream sludge.

"But Mom, I thought you didn't care if we were sleeping together!" I protest.

"True, but that doesn't mean I want to stay up half the night listening to the two of you." She replies.

"Mom, we're not that bad. You make it sound like we're screwing like bunnies or something."

My mom dives in for a bite of my ruined ice cream.

"That may be true," she says, wiping the cream from her upper lip, "but I was young once too. And I still remember the hormones, the steamy nights in the back of cars. It won't take long before your libido kicks into overdrive. Especially with a boy that yummy."

I giggle, "Mom are you digging on my boyfriend?"

"I'm only complimenting your taste Duo." She answers, washing the bowls out in the sink.

A moment later a sleepy figure shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from its eyes. I smiled softly at Heero as he came over and kissed me. Mmmm, nice and sloppy, newly woken-up spit.

"Ahem."

Quickly Heero removed his tongue from my mother, leaving me half choking, as he spun towards my mother in shock.

"Nice to see you again Heero." She says, holding back her laughter as I sit back here coughing up a lung.

"N-n-nice to see y-you again t-too Miss Maxwell." He stutters.

I continue hacking and coughing for the next five minutes until Heero comes back from outer space and gives me one good smack to the back.

"Ow! Christ were you trying to kill me?" I snap.

"Your welcome." Heero retorts.

"Took you damn long enough! I've been sitting here dying for like, the past five minutes!" I tell him, pouting.

My mom places a hand to her forehead and says, "My God I've raised a drama queen."

Heero snickers as I give my mother a hard glare.

"So, uh, Miss Maxwell I'll just be getting my stuff and be going." He states, making his way back to the den.

"Like Hell you are!" My mother shouts.

Heero stops dead and gives her a wide-eyed stare of confusion.

I jump off my stool and put my arms around his neck.

"Mommy dearest has allowed you to stay, so long as you don't come into my room for a midnight quickie." I tease.

Heero grins and slips his arms around my waist, swaying, "Oh of course not. I always take my time. I like to have a little fun."

"Heero!" I whine as my mother bursts into laughter.

Good God now there's going to be two people to pick on me. And they now live under the same roof. Dear God, what have I done?

Author's Note:

Bleh, notes are overrated anyway.


End file.
